You Were the First To Be the Last
by Verity52
Summary: Post Season 6. PostPartings.AU. Java junkie & Lit. After Lorelai's mistake, she & Luke struggle to forgive. As for Rory, she vows to rediscover herself while Logan is away & finds that maybe the real Rory's heart belongs to someone from her past.
1. Chapter 1: Heart Is Like an Open Highway

This is a post-sixth season fiction focusing on the relationship between Lorelai and Luke as well as redeveloping a relationship between Rory and Jess.

The story is written in third person from Rory's point of view.

Additionally, I am looking for beta/someone to bounce ideas around with so any volunteers, please contact me!

Also, if you could, this is my first fiction so please review!

Chapter 1 – My Heart is Like an Open Highway

_At least I can say I did it my way._

Standing alone in her and Logan's apartment, Rory felt a strange sense of uneasiness at how empty she and the apartment felt. She knew that her feelings were particularly ironic given the post-party state of the place. Cups, plates, and other party paraphernalia littered the apartment, as if paying tribute to her final gift to and party with Logan. Last night, Colin and Finn stayed behind to help (thought Rory was willing to argue that they had impeded progress rather than facilitate any), but eventually she kicked them out in order to spend some final alone time with Logan.

For the most part, the two spent the night talking, mostly hoping and praying that things wouldn't change between them. Rory sighed loudly, which seemed to echo in the large space. _He's really gone,_ she thought sadly, surveying the apartment. _I won't see Logan until Christmas._

Rory continued to look around the apartment, trying to determine just what it was that was making her feel so uncomfortable in the place she and Logan had called home for the last three months. And suddenly, Rory realized just what the problem was: somehow, without Logan's upbeat presence, the beautiful, ornate apartment just felt stuffy and unlived in.

Most of all, she definitely felt as if she didn't belong. Her clothing and things all seemed to match the apartment's uncomfortable stuffiness, its regality, and this bothered Rory more than she cared to admit. In fact, she almost felt like she was at her grandparents' house, which, especially after last year's events, made her feel even more ill at ease.

Wrapping her arms around her small frame, Rory sighed again and paused at the bed she and Logan shared. Whereas this morning the bed had seemed to be just right, it now suddenly looked as though it had tripled in size since the last time she'd laid in it. Feeling nostalgic, Rory climbed into the bed, hugged her knees close to her abdomen, and let memories of Logan wash over her.

But happy memories of Logan were quickly replaced with the intense feelings and memories of self-doubt that normally plagued Rory whenever she found herself alone. Normally, she suppressed it all from taking control of her thoughts, but today, with Logan's departure haunting her, she couldn't stop the waterfall of emotions and memories.

Jess's unforgettable words rushed forth as Rory lay still on the bed. "_What's going on with you? I know you better than anyone. This **isn't** you,"_ reverberated through her head.

Rory was no stranger to the passionate words. In fact, she was certain that she had memorized them at some point; whenever she found herself alone, Jess's words from a previous meeting repeated over and over in her head. Most times, Rory desperately tried to formulate an answer to the important question he had posed. What _was _going on with her?

Even though she had returned to Yale and even became editor of the Yale Daily News (if only to terminate Paris' reign of terror), she knew that she still hadn't quite reclaimed who she used to be. She was no longer the girl that most people had known and loved. Somehow, during her freshman year of college, she'd evolved into someone she—_and Jess_, her mind cried out—barely recognized.

The old Rory had been shy, well read, independent, and dedicated to her close friends, family, and interests. The old Rory had promised to stay true to her self, had promised not to change in the face of college peer pressure. The new Rory, on the other hand, had failed to keep those promises; she hadn't remained true to her self at all and spent most of time doing what others wanted, whether it was running the newspaper, throwing parties, or going to the bar. And it wasn't that she hated those activities, but Rory often felt deep down that they weren't the things she really wanted to be doing. She barely read outside of her studies and couldn't even remember the last book she had read just for fun. _I used to relish in reading a good novel, now I spend all my time partying and drinking… all of my time with Logan_.

At the thought of Logan, more of Jess's words floated back to her. _"This isn't you… you going out with this jerk with the Porsche… we made fun of guys like this!" God, _she thought. _Logan's barely been gone a day and here I am rethinking everything. _

Shaking her head in order to banish her distressing thoughts, Rory glanced around the empty-feeling apartment once more. It still felt wrong without Logan, as if she were an imposter in the elegant setting.

Suddenly, Rory was struck with an intense urge to see her mother, Luke, Lane, and the rest of Stars Hollow, in a place where she knew she was definitely not an imposter. A place that was, no matter her situation, home.

She hadn't been planning on leaving until tomorrow, giving herself time to pack and settle a few last details with the newspaper. However, the desire to sit down at Luke's diner with Lane and her mother, drinking coffee and swapping stories, was too much to resist.

_Besides_, _a little spontaneity never hurt anyone… as long as I don't commit a felony this time_, she thought ruefully. _I can always come back; it's not so far away_._ I need to go home. _


	2. Chapter 2: I'll Stand By You

Chapter 2 – I'll Stand By You

_Take me into your darkest hour, and I'll never desert you._

The drive to Stars Hollow wasn't particularly long, but Rory's impatience and longing for home caused time to feel as thought it was were barely moving at all. Roughly pressing her foot on the gas, Rory watched as the speedometer satisfactorily jumped up.

She fiddled with the radio in a desperate attempt to block her mind from Jess's words; even now, they quietly resonated in the back of her mind. _"This isn't you_…"

She finally settled on a station playing an old Metallica song, somehow feeling closer to Jess in the process. _I wonder how he is doing in Philly,_ she casually thought.

However, she quickly banished Jess from her thoughts again, deeply unsettled by how easily he seemed to creep up in even the most innocuous of moments. And how concerned she was about his overall existence. _When had that happened?_ she wondered.

While the uneasiness she had experienced in the apartment hadn't quite faded, Rory knew it was lessening with every mile closer the car brought her to Stars Hollow and her mom. She wasn't expecting her hometown or mother to work miracles, but she secretly knew that even just talking to her mom about nothing at all would make this strange feeling in the pit of her stomach vanish. Just sitting in Luke's diner, drinking coffee, and finally feeling comfortable in her skin would do the trick.

Rory glanced at a passing freeway sign and realized she had at least another hour to go. Sighing, she focused her thoughts on Logan and how much she missed him already. _Sometimes_, Rory reflected, _I really think that Logan is the complete opposite of me. At least, the real me. _

Where Logan was self-assured, confident, and effortlessly smart, Rory had been shy and studious. In fact, Logan operated in a world that for a long time, Rory had adamantly rejected. But the more time she had spent with Logan, the more he had brought her in. The strange part was how quickly and subtly she had changed under his guidance. Both little and big things, like the way she dressed or the way she treated other people, had undergone serious transformations as she and Logan become casual daters and eventually lovers.

_Well, that's all going to change now_, Rory silently vowed. _This summer is all about rediscovering me. The real me. _Heartened by her voiceless promise, Rory pressed her foot to the gas once more so that she could return to the only place she knew her rediscovery could begin.

Forty-five minutes later, Rory pulled in front of her long time home. Retrieving her purse and slinging it around her shoulder, she quickly moved out of the car.

At this moment, her mother stepped out on porch, and Rory was suddenly struck by that feeling of uneasiness once more; however, this time she knew it had nothing to do with herself or Logan. Even from afar, Rory could tell that all was not well with Lorelai.

In a strange way, Rory welcomed whatever drama Stars Hollow had managed to whip up; she welcomed anything that would take her mind off her sadness at Logan's departure and those lingering feelings of self-doubt. And those distressing words Jess had spoken. Anything that distracted her from his words that made her feel as though she was slipping through the cracks.

"Rory!" Her mother cried, shaking Rory out of her momentary reverie.

"Mom!" Rory responded, rushing forward.

The two raced towards each other with open arms, meeting in the middle of the yard in a desperate, clingy embrace. They hugged for several minutes, both feeling as if the other were a lifeboat that they had to frantically cling on to in order to survive. Rory couldn't help but feel as though the analogy, given the situation, was apt.

Rory pulled away first, smiling in a relieved and fond sort of way, only to see Lorelai's red eyes, rapid tears, and a deeply unsettling frown. It was only then that Rory also noticed her mother's poor posture, frumpy clothing, and pale skin. "Mom?" Rory softly questioned, staring at Lorelai.

Lorelai looked down at her daughter, pasted a brave smile on her face, and said, "Come on, kiddo. I've made some coffee." The two wrapped their arms around each other's waists and slowly headed inside the house. Smiling at her mother, Rory knew, come what may, she was finally home.

"Rory, I have to tell you something and I need you to remain calm," Lorelai said hesitantly ten minutes later, after the girls had settled in the living room with large mugs of coffee.

Rory sipped some of her coffee and nodded at her mother; she knew that something had been bothering Lorelai but had been reluctant to bring it up first.

"Well, last night… Luke and I had a fight. A huge fight. The fight to end all fights. A fight that probably topped all of the fights between Brad and Jen when they broke up. And after this huge, colossal fight, I made a really big mistake." Lorelai paused, tears welling up in her eyes as she recalled how foolish she had been. "I went to Luke after dinner at my parents and I asked, well really, demanded, him to elope with me."

"What happened next?" Rory quietly asked, her eyes widening slightly with shock.

A few tears coursed down Lorelai's face as she said, "I gave Luke, the love of my life, the Ricky to my Lucy, the Jack to my Rose, an ultimatum. I told him I wasn't going to wait anymore and that it was now or never."

Rory unintentionally gasped at her mother's confession. "But Luke… Luke hates ultimatums."

"I know, I know, don't you think I don't know what Luke likes or doesn't like? I love him! I was just so caught up in wanting to be married, wanting to be married to _him_, and I was so sick of waiting for him to work things out, so sick of working around April. I just couldn't handle it anymore."

Rory set her coffee mug on the nearby table, her face sympathetic. Covering Lorelai's hand with her own, Rory nodded at her mother's words before speaking in soothing tones. "I know this whole April situation was really hard for you, and Luke definitely needs to make some changes. But really, this is nothing; you two can work though this."

In the smallest voice possible, Lorelai replied, "There's more."

"Oh?" Rory asked hesitantly; in her experience, more was never good.

"I was so hurt by Luke's refusal to elope with me that I went to the only person I knew I could count on. I went to Boston, to Christopher, and… and I slept with him, Ror. I didn't mean to, but somehow I did, and now I can't take it back, and now I can't ask Luke to take me back, because I could never tell him because I know it would devastate him more than I can ever imagine. And more than anything, I never, ever want to hurt Luke again."

Unconsciously, Rory retracted her hand with a horrified look on her face. "Mom, you didn't. You couldn't! How could you do that to Luke? It was a fight! Couples fight all the time!" Rory leaped off the couch in fury, suddenly disgusted with the person sitting in front of her. "Why didn't you come to me? How could have you done this? To me! To Luke! To yourself!"

"Don't you think I don't know? I've ruined it, Rory. Luke was it, he was my soulmate, and now I've completely and utterly ruined everything between us!" Lorelai began shouting, more tears pouring down her face. "There's no happily ever after ending any more! The hooker princess isn't going to end up with the rich prince! The hooker is actually going to end up alone, forever, unmarried because she ruined her chance with the prince, the only real man she could ever love!"

The sadness of Lorelai's words flew through Rory's ears and settled in her stomach, and she suddenly felt more exhausted than she ever had in her life. Her fury, which has been so close to the edge only a moment ago, had dissipated quickly, like air let out of a balloon.

She slowly walked towards her mother, took the coffee mug that was teetering in Lorelai's shaking hands, and placed it on the end table next to her own. She then climbed back onto the couch and enveloped her mother in a large, silent hug. Lorelai hugged her tightly back, and Rory knew that more than ever, her mother needed her.


	3. Chapter 3: I Ain't Missing You

Chapter 3 – I Ain't Missing You At All

_Since you've been gone._

The following morning, Rory woke up before her mother. She lay still and silent for a few moments, letting last night's events catch up with her. _What time it is?_ she wondered as she shifted to glance to Lorelai and the alarm clock. _Ha, still fast asleep._ _And it's 1 o'clock already?_

Rory and Lorelai had stayed up all night revealing secrets and talking about the issues that had been troubling their relationship for some time. Rory hadn't realized it until they'd started talking, but she and Lorelai hadn't really shared a good conversation in a long time. She also realized that this confessional episode with her mother had been the perfect start to her vow of rediscovery. Who knew her and who she was meant to be better than her mother?

They'd talked about everyone and everything, really. Lorelai ranted at great length regarding the men in her life: Christopher, Max, and Luke. She expressed her fear of never being married, especially now that she had ruined her chance with Luke, the only person she wanted to marry. Rory had comforted her, and they discussed the loves of Rory's life too, examining the different types of relationships Rory had shared with Dean, Jess, and Logan. They'd spoken of previous hopes and current dreams, each assuring the other that things would eventually work out. They wondered about the future, creating ridiculous scenarios as options for what the future might bring.

However, the best part for Rory as they laid in the dark, swapping stories, was listening to her mother talk. Rory reveled in her mother's rapid, pop-culture reference ridden style of speaking. It was like their own private language that connected them to one another beyond the confines of just mother and daughter. _And something about it is so distinctly Mom_, Rory silently reflected. But Rory knew a small part of it was her too; this was the way she had learned to communicate, the way she spoke to Lane, to Logan, and other people she encountered.

To Rory, the entire experience was cathartic. Not only did she receive advice from someone whose wisdom she greatly valued, but Rory finally got things off her chest that had been bothering her for a long time. She almost wished that the two of them had done this sooner; Rory couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so close to her mother.

At some point during the shared confessions, Lorelai had admitted that sometimes she didn't recognize Rory anymore. She mentioned her books, clothing, and habits, citing them as examples of just how much her daughter had changed. "You don't dress anything like you used to; I feel like I sent Farm Rebecca to college and instead of blonde, butterfly tattooed Rebecca who befriended Pauly Shore, I got Emily Gilmore circa 1973."

Hearing Lorelai acknowledge the problem that had been gnawing at Rory for so long nearly broke her heart. But, in spite of the pain, Rory's heart also felt lighter than it had in a long time. Lorelai's words—_Jess's words too_, she thought—sealed her commitment to rediscovering herself. _This summer is my time_, she declared hopefully.

_But first things first_, she thought with a smile. No Gilmore could engage on a life-changing journey without some means of sustenance. She silently made her way down to the kitchen to retrieve a pad and writing utensil.

Five minutes later, Rory had left a loving note on the pillow next to Lorelai and was making her way toward the diner, uncertain of what was going to happen next. Once she was standing in front of the diner, Rory realized that her nerves, which had only been a small bundle when she'd set off from her house, had multiplied into a serious case of cramps. _Oh c'mon, it's Luke!_ her minded shouted reasonably. However, the voice couldn't seem to force her feet to move toward the diner door.

Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately, she later reflected), Rory found that forcing her feet into the diner was unnecessary as the door swung forward, revealing Luke.

Rory stifled a horrified gasp; Luke looked more terrible than she could have ever imagined. His skin was deathly pale and even though only a few days had passed, Luke looked as though he'd lost some weight, particularly in his cheeks. He also seemed strangely unkempt; his clothes were rumpled in a fashion that suggested he'd been wearing them for a few days. His usual frown was absent. Instead, his expression seemed devoid of all emotion. As Rory inspected him, she realized that he held the look of someone who has not slept in a very long time. However, what frightened Rory most were his eyes: they were bright red and yet looked lifeless, as if the fire that had often lit them was gone forever.

"Rory," Luke said, the surprise evident in his gruff voice. He looked so heartbroken that Rory suppressed the urge to rush forward and hug him. "How are you?"

"Luke. I'-, I'm good. It's good to be home. How are you?" She replied a low, sympathetic voice.

Luke opened his mouth to form a reply but was interrupted by another person exiting the diner.

Only one word registered in Rory's brain as she stared at the person in shock: Jess.

Jess Mariano was back in town.


	4. Chapter 4: Got to Get Away

So, firstly, I know that my chapter titles suck – I haven't been able to think of particularly good references, so for now, they stay as they are.

Secondly, I would really appreciate some reviews. I don't want this to be another run of the mill story, and I know that I have areas in my writing that need improvement. Don't be afraid to tell me what those areas are.

Finally, sorry this chapter is so short but I want to get the story moving along. I have a lot of ground to cover.

Chapter 4 – Got to Get Away

_From the pain you drive in the heart of me._

Rory shifted uncomfortably on her feet as she stared quite unashamedly at Jess. _He looks good_, she silently decided. _Happy. Healthy._

However, a bright blush settled into Rory's cheeks as she realized what she was doing while standing in front of Luke. "Hi," she finally murmured, quickly dropping her eyes to the ground.

However, some impulse inside of Rory itched for her to look at him again. As if she were supposed to. Raising her blue gaze to his, she was suddenly aware of all the wonderful changes taking place in her body as the two merely locked eyes.

Her skin felt hot and electrically charged in the tense air. Her heart rate jumped up to a mile a minute, pounding loud enough for her grandparents in Hartford to hear. The cramps in her stomach intensified as a thousand butterflies fluttered around excitedly.

Inhaling deeply, Rory was surprised to find that not only did she felt like the air had been knocked out of her, but she could almost taste the static in the air. The static between her and Jess. _C'mon Gilmore, pull it together_.

Overwhelmed, Rory abruptly realized that she had not seen Jess in Stars Hollow since the two had dated, and seeing him in her hometown once again was causing some intensely uncomfortable feelings.

"Hi," Jess replied evenly, his gaze remaining on Rory. She squirmed slightly under his intense stare, shifting on her feet once more.

A ghost of a smile reached Luke's lips. "This seems vaguely similar to another meeting you two once had."

Luke's magical words broke the tension as both Rory and Jess laughed a little, finally shifting their glances away from one another.

Clearing his throat, Luke addressed Rory. "Jess is in town for the summer. Helping me with the diner. For the summer." He raised his eyebrow, plainly gauging Rory's reaction.

Rory smiled and resisted another urge to hug Luke; at least the tension between her and Jess was serving the purpose of momentarily distracting him. She suspected, given his ragged appearance, this was the most interest he'd demonstrated in anything since the fight. She wondered when Jess had gotten in town. _Probably when he heard about the fight_, she thought fondly.

"That's really nice of you, Jess," she responded, flashing a quick grin at him. "So, where were the two of you heading?"

At Rory's question, both Luke and Jess shared a significant look, and their faces closed up. Rory almost laughed out loud; Luke and Jess were really more alike than they realized. After a few seconds of uncomfortable silence, Jess finally replied, "Just around."

"Why? Did you want something to eat, Rory?" Luke asked.

"Oh, that's okay. I'll just get Caesar to make me a burger."

"Oh, well I could just step back in real quick-" Luke began but was interrupted by a buzzing in Rory's purse.

"Oh, sorry," she said, frantically digging through her purse.

As she saw her mother's name flash on the retrieved cell phone, Rory paused awkwardly and glanced meaningfully at Jess.

"It's Lorelei, isn't it?" Luke asked in a low, gruff voice. The faint spark that Rory had previously noticed faded instantly; his face was more closed off than it had been a second ago.

Glancing at Luke, Rory couldn't quite get over her shock that he was taking the break-up with her mother so hard. She knew that Luke loved Lorelai, but he had always struck her as one of those people that never broke down, no matter the obstacle. He was Luke: strong, rough, and occasionally sweet. She wondered if he would take Lorelai back after hearing about Christopher; she desperately hoped so. Luke and her mother deserved to be together.

Rory desperately glanced at Jess again, not wanting to confirm Luke's suspicions but not desiring to lie either.

He nodded curtly towards Rory before smoothly saying, "Huh. Luke, we're gonna be late. Let's go." Jess placed a hand on Luke's shoulder and guided him away, leaving Rory standing in front of the diner alone.

However, before the pair made it across the street, Jess glanced back at her, his face conveying something, though she wasn't quite sure just what that something was.

Groaning, Rory pressed the 2 dial on her cell phone. "Hey Mom…" she answered when another voice picked up.


	5. Chapter 5: Protection

So, thanks for all of the reviews I have received so far. You guys made my day. For those who had questions:

Dreams-of-Oompa-Loompas: No, currently Luke does not know about Chris; however, I think that if Luke really thought he's lost Lorelai that he would be this distraught. I think Luke is a lot deeper than we GG fans give him credit.

LorLukealways: Thank you for all those reviews! And yes, sorry if Lorelai's sad but I think she deserves to be; Luke treated her badly but sleeping with Christopher? Also, where Jess and Luke are going isn't particularly secretive.

LeagallyInnocent: Haha, I hope I didn't say that "deserved" more reviews. I only meant that I'd like more feedback to improve the story.

To everyone else: I know that my chapters are pretty short; I'm starting to think that that's just how I write (much like the way I excessively use semi-colons). Additionally, I know that my Rory seems a bit immature in her reactions to Jess but that is intentional.

One final warning: I have a different background than Rory and Lorelai so my references are distinctly reflect of that… just wait and see, I can't help how badly I shine though, I swear! The delusional reference will probably be recognized by any mugglenet frequenters (Harry Potter). I just couldn't resist.

EDIT: I couldn't change this title, I just liked it too much!

Chapter 5 - Protection 

"Hey babe. Are you at the diner?" Rory could barely hear Lorelai's quiet voice over the cell phone.

"Yes, but he's gone," she responded, not bothering to clarify who "he" was.

"Oh." There was a long pause on the other line, and Rory waited patiently for the question she knew was coming. "Did you see him?" Lorelai finally asked, though Rory thought it had actually sounded painful for her mother to form the words.

"Actually, yeah. He was leaving as I was entering. We sort of talked. Jess is back for the summer. The two of them went somewhere together, but I don't know where." Rory hoped her mention of Jess sounded casual, though after the chemistry-filled encounter they had shared, she wasn't quite sure she knew how to properly speak anymore anyway. "Um, Mom. Luke… well, he looked miserable."

There was another long pause on Lorelai's end and Rory wondered if she had made a bad choice in telling her mother about Luke's present condition.

However, after a minute or so, Lorelai responded. "Well, stop eating whatever you are eating and wait for your mother. No excuses. I gave you the gift of life, you know." Her voice sounded stronger, and Rory chuckled slightly as Lorelai hung up. She hoped her mother was strong enough to face the diner, even if it was without Luke; the Gilmore Girls had shared a lot of memories with him in that diner so this was not going to be a pain-free experience.

Rory entered the diner, enjoying the familiar tinkling bell as she swung the door open. She greeted Kirk, the only customer present, who was finishing peanut butter jelly sandwich at one of the tables.

As she settled at the counter to wait for Lorelai, Rory contemplated pretending to "thoughtfully" browse the menu to give her mother a shock but this thought was interrupted when Kirk promptly sat next to her.

"Uh, what are you doing, Kirk?" she asked, unable to fully hide the amusement in her voice. Rory sometimes found Kirk very annoying but she knew that a part of her—a part that would adamantly deny this confession if anyone actually asked—really liked Kirk and his eccentricity. If she ever wrote a novel detailing her life in Stars Hollow, she was certain he would provide more than enough colorful stories.

"Well, I don't know if you have been informed of this, but a certain hoodlum from your past has resurfaced and I think you should be concerned for your safety." Kirk's face was completely serious, and Rory stifled both a groan and a laugh.

"Now, I don't know if you know this either, but I have a black belt in karate and am well practiced in the art of protection. Therefore, I'd like to offer my protection services to you while Jess continues to reside in Stars Hollow." He leaned forward and handed Rory a card.

Rory carefully inspected the card for Kirk's sake and found it to be a fairly typical Kirk-designed card, until she read the "agency's" motto: "The pioneer in kicking Stars Hollow's criminal rear."

She couldn't help it, but Rory laughed out loud. Kirk seemed to believe this was due to her approval of the motto, as he responded, "Mother said it was too 'wordy', but I think it has a real ring to it."

In the middle of formulating a polite response, the diner's small bell sounded, and Rory flashed a smile at her mother as she entered.

"Hey Mom."

Kirk bounded up from his chair as Lorelai approached. "Lorelai, now, I know you aren't at as high of a risk as Rory, but I do think one of my smaller programs would offer you the perfect amount of protection."

Lorelai shot Rory a confused look as she made her way the counter and Rory simply shrugged, wondering how her mother would react.

"Well Kirk, condoms have been working for me just fine. Well, except for a small accident resulting in my darling daughter here… But besides that-"

This time, Rory didn't even bother trying to hold in the laughter as Kirk's face twisted up in mild disgust. He silently handed Lorelai a card and made a hasty exit, and Lorelai promptly began laughing as well when she realized her mistake.

The two spent almost 10 minutes just laughing, which eventually summoned Caesar from the back room, but neither of them were in any condition to explain or order.

After the laughter had finally subsided, Rory's stomach ached terribly, but all of those anxious feelings she'd felt in her and Logan's apartment had finally disappeared completely.

"Hey Caesar, can we order now?" Rory called, and Caesar made his way to the pair.

After ordering the standard burger, fries, and apple pie, Lorelai stated thoughtfully, "You know, I have to give Kirk credit. His motto is catchy. I'm a sucker for rhymes."

"So was Juliet and look how her story ended. I'd beware of Kirk from now on," Rory warned.

"Ah," Lorelai smiled. "But haven't you noticed how much Juliet and I have in common? Overwhelming disappointment to parents… tragic fate… ability to capture Leonardo DiCaprio's heart."

"Ha, more like Leonardo the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle."

"Excuse me?" Lorelai exclaimed. "You know that the only cartoon male I am interested in these days is Wolverine. But only because Hugh Jackman played him the movies."

"You really need to stop forming strong attachments to fictional characters, cartoon or otherwise, based on the actor's appearance," Rory admonished.

"Oh, I do no such thing."

"I offer up one word for you: Aragorn."

"Well, that's what you said about inanimate objects, but that hasn't stopped me from naming every single appliance in the house," Lorelai said in a singsong voice.

"You are delusional. I should have you committed."

"No more delusional than any remaining Harry/Hermione shippers… Are you going to commit all of them? I wonder how one would go about rounding up all the Harry/Hermione shippers…"

The rest of the afternoon continued in that manner for Rory and Lorelai; they left the diner after an hour or so in order to forage for the most artery clogging snacks and worst mafia movies for another infamous mother/daughter movie night.

Rory knew it was wrong, but she'd barely given Logan any thought since returning to Stars Hollow. _I hope his flight went all right_.

All in all, Rory couldn't complain about her return to Star's Hollow. A brief, but charged meeting with Jess, a funny encounter with Kirk, and a horrible movie fest with her mother were all making her feel more like the old Rory already.


	6. Chapter 6: Always Got By On My Own

So, I know I said that this was a third person Rory point of view story, but I couldn't resist letting my readers know just what our favorite boys were doing – I didn't want anyone to think that Luke was harboring any more secrets.

And I have to tell you, I actually like what I've written here; Luke and Jess are far easier conversationalists to write, as their talking is minimal but conveys a lot. Plus, they're both just so interesting.

Also, I have actually sat down and outlined some of the things I want to cover, so hopefully this story will have a long, healthy life.

Finally, I could help but add a Great Gatsby reference; it's one of my favorites.

Chapter 6 – Till Now, Always Got By On My Own

_I Never Really Cared Until I Met You_

As Jess's long legs skimmed the calm waters, he felt a great sense of contentment. Jess found this realization relatively ironic, given his past feelings for the town but in this moment, he was okay with the world, even the Stars Hollow part of it.

However, he wasn't back in Stars Hollow on his own terms, which was how he'd always assumed he'd return. He'd returned to the place he used to resent more than any other place in the world due to a somber phone call a few days ago.

_Flashback:_

Sitting in his favorite chair with a writing pad resting on his knee and a pencil poised in his hand, Jess wrinkled his brow in concentration. However, his phone's shrill ring interrupted his thought process as it echoed through his small room. He groaned and mumbled something about how penning the great American novel was a lot easier without technology or interruptions.

"Hello?" he'd grunted into the phone, already peeved with whoever was at the other end of the line.

"She left me." The caller didn't identify himself, but Jess immediately knew who it was anyway.

It was one of the few adults the Jess respected and trusted: Uncle Luke. And Luke would only call if he really needed Jess. It was a 'promise' they had made one another when Jess left for New York.

"You can call me, you know," Luke told Jess as Jess hoisted his duffle bag.

Jess glanced at Luke, and a smirk crept on to his face. "Why?"

"Not all the time. Just, when you need to. If something goes wrong, you can call me."

"Huh. Okay. You too."

So, Jess had come back to Stars Hollow, no questions asked, because he knew that Luke wouldn't have placed the call unless he truly needed Jess. And when he'd arrived at the diner, he was glad that Luke had called, because he'd never seen Luke look as rumpled, miserable, and drunk as the Luke that greeted him that night was.

Jess glanced at Luke, who was sitting silently beside him on the bridge, looking a bit forlorn and lost.

Sometimes Jess considered the bridge to be his and Rory's, but at times like this, Jess knew the bridge was just as much his and Luke's as it was his and Rory's.

When he really thought about it, he knew that the bridge often brought forth more memories of Luke than Rory.

Smiling slightly, Jess fondly thought all of the times he and Luke had spent at the bridge. This bridge was where Luke had pushed Jess into the water because he was being a pain in the ass. It was also where Luke had found Jess after the car crash, and the two had sat as they did now, in silence for hours. It was the place where the two of them had spent an entire afternoon circling a 'viscous' swan; Luke mercilessly teasing Jess while Jess waited for the swan to "beak" him again.

The two hadn't discussed the actual details of the 'blowout' as Jess aptly termed it, but he knew that Luke would talk when he was ready. Until then, Jess would wait.

"Are you writing another book?" Luke's low voice broke the peaceful silence, but Jess didn't mind too much.

"Yeah." His response was short, but Jess knew that Luke took no offense.

"I liked your first book. The title was appropriate."

Jess glanced at Luke curiously. "You think so?"

Chuckling, Luke replied, "Yes, but only because Rory thinks so."

At this, Jess smirked and stared into the water. Of course. Rory understood the title. He almost never admitted it to himself, but sometimes, while writing Subsect, he'd been speaking to Rory. When he imagined his audience, he always pictured her bright blue eyes shining with enjoyment and understanding, urging him to write more.

"What's the new one about?"

Before Jess could think to lie, he simply answered, "Rory."

Luke just nodded and said, "She was acting strange this morning." He glanced at Jess, looking for a reaction but found none.

"That's Rory."

"No," Luke replied softly. "That's Rory flustered. That's Rory in love, or on her way."

Shrugging, Jess said, "Maybe." But a smile briefly flitted across his face opposed to his usual smirk and Jess knew that Luke had seen it.

Jess gestured to the boat tied to the left of them on the bridge. "Wanna fish now?"

"Okay."

The two climbed into the boat, letting it peacefully drift away from the bridge. Luke began slowly putting together his fishing pole while Jess leaned back and let the sun warm his face. He'd never tell a soul, but Stars Hollow, especially at this bridge, was a beautiful place to be on a summer day.

He opened his eyes to check on Luke, who was casting his pole with the grace of an expert. "Luke."

"Yeah?"

"You think there are any fish in here?"

The question hung between the two of them for a moment, until Luke flashed a small smile at Jess and answered, "Does it matter?"

Jess faintly smiled back and retrieved his pencil and yellow writing pad.

An hour later, the day that was slowly coming to a close found Luke quietly fishing while Jess stooped over his writing pad, scribbling furiously.

"She wanted to elope." The unexpected words seemed to stretch in the silence.

Jess looked up, setting the writing pad and pencil aside.

"She said it was now or never. I had to elope with her right then or never marry her at all. I couldn't think. She was so frantic."

"Huh."

"I messed up." This statement surprised Jess; he had believed that Lorelai had instigated the entire 'blowout'.

"I kept April from her and then wouldn't let Lorelai interact with April at all, even though April was spending a lot more time in my life. I pushed her away but acted as though nothing had changed at all. I hurt her."

"You can fix things."

"I know. I just don't know how."

"You two will work things out."

A hush followed this statement until Luke announced, "I love her."

"Then you need to fix things."

"I know. What about you and Rory?"

"What about us?" Jess replied evasively.

"It could work, Jess. She really cares about you. And no matter what you do or say, I know you care about her too. Probably more than you've ever cared about anyone else."

Jess stared at the silent waters, thinking hard. A part of him desired a cigarette—despite having given them a while ago—to help him lie to Luke, but he wanted to believe he was beyond that.

Luke sensed Jess's hesitation and continued. "You dedicated your first book to her. I know you care."

Jess recalled the hours he'd spent laboring over the dedication and his intent to demonstrate exactly what she'd meant to him. In the end, he'd only written: "To my Daisy, the only intellectual who hates Hemmingway." He vaguely wondered if she'd recognized the Daisy reference; they'd both been beyond Great Gatsby when they'd met, but Jess thought it was appropriate all the same.

Finally, Jess replied, "That's what scares me. Caring."

Luke nodded. "I know."

The two spent the rest of the day in silence, engaging in small talk, or running the diner, but the important words that had been shared between them lingered below the surface.


	7. Chapter 7: It's About Forgiveness

Firstly, I really want a beta; I have the tendency to a) overuse semicolons (this particular sentence case in point), b) forget words as I hurriedly write down the words my reluctant muse has parted, and c) occasionally making spelling or grammatical errors. So anyone interested please review!

Secondly, I outlined the basic plots for this story and am pleased with what I have so far. I'm considering writing my entire version of the 7th season: the wedding, Rory's graduation, and all of the drama in between.

I actually devised what I consider to be a rather clever twist (I haven't read it anywhere yet, though I'm sure _someone_ has beaten me to the punch) so I'm really excited to keep writing! However, this is still tentative, as I'm struggling with writing dialogue between Rory and Lorelai and it would ruin the story to have a decent plot with terrible dialogue between the two main characters.

Finally, I know I said this was a Rory/Jess story, but Luke and Lorelai are being rather selfish, hehe. However, I'm aiming to get the ball rolling on Literati in Chapter 9 (sorry, I want to resolve things in this chapter in the next).

P.S. I think I might go through my chapter titles and turn them into references to 80's songs… hehe. So, I'm starting here… anyone know the song and artist?

Chapter 7 – It's About Forgiveness 

_Even if you don't love me anymore._

The summer sunlight streamed into Rory's room, gently arousing her from a strange dream involving a disastrous visit to Logan in London. She grunted slightly, shifting sides on her bed, when the sight of a pajama-clad Lorelai in her reading chair destroyed any future hopes of more sleep.

"Mom?" She grumbled sleepily, sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

"Hey babe." Lorelai's voice was soft. She sat with her knees drawn to her abdomen with a coffee mug in each hand and a pensive smile on her face. Standing up, she walked over and silently handed Rory a mug of coffee before returning to the chair.

Rory let out a loud yawn before attacking her coffee with an almost unnatural fervor. After several long sips of the delicious liquid, Rory cautiously asked, "What's going on?"

"I need to tell Luke about Christopher. Today." Her voice was still quiet and her words were simple, which was uncharacteristic for her, but there was a force behind them.

A ball of nervousness formed in the pit of Rory's stomach; the thought of Lorelai and Luke not making up scared her more than she cared to admit. "When?"

"I'm going now. Well, after I change. I just need to hear something from you before I go."

"Yeah?"

"Tell it's going to be okay. Tell me that Luke will find it in his heart to forgive me. Tell me that he'll still marry me. Tell me he still loves me like I love him. Please just tell me you saw something in him yesterday that makes you think I still have a chance."

Rory's heart went out to her mother. _If anyone deserved for things to work out, it's Mom. _In spite of that thought, she chose her next words carefully. "He still loves you. And I honestly believe he'll forgive you. But it'll take time. Don't expect him to forgive you today."

"I don't. I just need to know he still loves me and if there's a chance he'll forgive me someday."

Rory didn't respond; it was the sort of statement that was better left hanging in the air.

---

Lorelai's walk towards the diner was slow and hesitant; every step she took towards the diner was accompanied by an intense desire to flee. But she knew she had to do this; she had to do this for Luke and herself. He had the right to know just how horrible the person he loved was. _If he still loves me_, she added miserably.

Taking a deep breath, she straightened her shoulders and marched into the diner, with one last thought wondering what kind of person would be exiting the diner when all of this was said and done.

The usual bell tinkled as she entered the place that felt like her second home. Luke stood behind the counter, wiping it down, when he looked up. Their eyes met. He nodded towards her and told Lane that he needed to handle something upstairs and would be down later.

She crossed the diner, her entire body shaking as she followed Luke up the familiar stairs. Lane looked as though she intended to say hello, but something about Lorelai's appearance and expression must have warned her not to bother.

The moment she entered the apartment, Luke enveloped her into a tight, warm hug.

"Oh god, Lorelai. I'm so sorry. I know I've messed up and you have every right to be angry, but I promise I can make this right. Please forgive me. We'll plan the wedding, I swear it. I want to marry you. I love you."

His words were honest and everything she had wanted to hear from him. For a moment, a small part of her considered forgiving him and putting the entire experience behind her. They would get back together. They would plan the wedding. She'd marry the man she loved and never mention the worst mistake she'd ever made again.

_But how could you do that to Luke? How could you live with yourself, knowing that you had deceived the only man you ever loved?_ her mind shouted miserably.

Gathering every ounce of courage she possessed, Lorelai extracted herself from Luke's arms and murmured, "Luke, I have to tell you something. I need you to sit and I need you to listen." Her entire body began trembling once more and her eyes filled with tears.

Luke sat down at a chair at the table, his face now stoic and his body rigid, and it was only then that Lorelai realized how different Luke appeared from the last time she'd seen him. He looked rumpled and she was almost certain he'd lost weight. She sat down in the chair across from him and looked straight into his eyes.

"The other night, I made a terrible mistake," she began shakily. "Well, actually, I made several terrible mistakes. First of all, I borrowed a pair of Rory's shoes, which is really never a good idea, because her feet are so much small-" she nervously babbled, feeling incredibly sick to her stomach.

"Lorelai." His low voice interrupted, and she could tell he was trying to contain his emotions.

"I demanded you elope with me. I gave you an ultimatum knowing you didn't like them. But I was scared. I thought you and I would never marry and it was the one thing I wanted more than anything in the world. And you just kept pushing me away. I couldn't handle it." She paused, wondering how to continue.

"I know," he answered, his voice wavering slightly. "I messed up, Lore. I'm sorry. But we can fix this."

"I hope that we can," she said softly. "But my mistakes didn't end there. After I walked away, I was devastated. You're the only man I've ever truly loved, Luke. I may have cared about Christopher, Max, or any other guy along the way, but the way I felt about them never compared to how much I love you. But I wanted to marry you and I thought you didn't want to marry me anymore. So, I ran to someone else." Lorelai swallowed, feeling her throat constrict as more tears streamed down her face.

"Christopher." Luke's single sentence wasn't a question but a tense statement.

Lorelai felt her heart break as she painfully nodded.

A long silence stretched between them as Lorelai stared at Luke's impassive face, willing him to respond in some way.

Finally, Luke raised her eyes to hers and, in a voice completely devoid of emotion, replied, "Okay." Then, in one quick motion, he stood up, grabbed a jacket, and left the apartment.

"Luke!" Lorelai jumped up, rushing to the door, only to see Luke's back disappear down the stairs.

Unable to the stop the wracking sobs, Lorelei reentered the apartment, threw herself on Luke's bed, and cried for a long time.

---

As Luke stormed out of the diner, he heard Lane and other people call his name, but he only heard her voice, relentlessly echoing though his brain. '_I ran to someone else'… 'I ran to someone else'… Christopher. _

Anger coursed through him, and he struggled not to scream or break down sobbing as he steadily made his way to the only place where he could feel okay at a time like this.

_She slept with Christopher. We fought, and she slept with Christopher._ A small voice in the back of his mind hopefully thought she might not have actually slept with him, but he repressed the feeling almost instantly. _Of course she had_.

The very thought of Christopher touching Lorelai made Luke's insides twist violently and brought both rage and tears even closer to the surface. He welcomed the rage; anger he could handle. He was allowed to be angry because the love of his life had cheated on him.

But it was the tears that Luke was afraid of. Not only would the tears make it real, but they would prove that, despite his anger, he still loved her. And Luke didn't want to love Lorelai anymore. Loving her was complicated, overwhelming, and right now, downright physically painful.

So Luke allowed the anger to consume his body and mind and it carried him all the way to the bridge in record time. When he arrived, Luke was surprised to see Jess already sitting at the bridge, as usual, jotting on a yellow writing pad.

For a second, Luke considered turning away. As much as he valued Jess, a part of him thought it might be better to be alone.

However, at that moment, Jess looked up from his pad, saw Luke, set the pad beside him, and beckoned Luke to join him.

Hesitantly, Luke made his way over and sat down beside him.

"She slept with Christopher."

Jess glanced at Luke in surprise and answered in his typical "Huh" fashion before he even thought to censor it. He waited a few minutes and then, staring at the water, finally replied, "I think you should forgive her."

This statement hung in the tense air between the two as Luke now turned to look at Jess in surprise.

"Jess, do you understand what I'm saying? Christopher is Rory's father. She slept with Rory's father! Lorelai cheated on me with Rory's father!"

"Yes, but she loves you. And, no matter how badly she's hurt you, you love her too."

"How do I even know she still loves me and wants to work things out? She slept with another man! That's not what someone in love does!" Luke shouted angrily, disturbing several birds in the surrounding trees.

"But she told you. Why would she bother to tell you if she didn't want to make things work? She told you to be honest with you. And she only bothered to be honest because she still loves you."

Luke was silent as he carefully thought about Jess's words. _He's right… what she did was still wrong, but she loves me._ A small bubble of hope filled his heart and mind.

"Okay," he finally said, but it was a much different 'okay' than the one he'd issued earlier to Lorelai. This okay acknowledged a hopeful future instead of diminishing a painful confession.


	8. Chapter 8: Here I Am With Open Arms

I hope this chapter turned as well as I wanted it to! I really struggled to find the right flow, I'm still not sure if I nailed it quite like I was planning. Hope you all enjoy.

And for any Something Corporate fans, I have a tiny reference at the end; see if you can catch it. I think the actual line it refers to (and the song) really describes Jess and Rory.

Oh, and for those people adding my story to their alerts, a review would be really great; I like knowing that you are reading and interested in the next installment, but I'd also like to know what you actually think in terms of the plot, my writing style, any grammatical errors, etc. I honestly take criticism (kindly phrased) pretty well so don't be afraid to say something is not right.

P.S. So my email is being quite weird so anyone wanting to talk GG and beta-ing, could you message me on AIM? My AIM SN perfectreject052. I'm practically always on and always looking for a friendly person to talk to, especially about GG:)

Chapter 8 – Here I Am With Open Arms 

_Hoping you'll see what your love means to me._

After he gratefully accepted Jess's offer to help Lane and Caesar run the diner that evening, Luke slowly lumbered up the stairs to his apartment. Despite having spent another day sitting on the bridge in silence, he felt worn out and wanted nothing more than to sleep away his exhaustion and confusion.

Lorelai's confession lingered in the back of his mind, torturing him. He wasn't quite sure what he would do when he saw her; mostly, right now, he just wanted to yell, but he knew Jess was right.

Luke had to forgive her. He loved her and couldn't picture the rest of his life—happily, at least—without her. And a small part of him felt that Lorelai would have never run to Christopher if Luke hadn't spent the last few months treating her the way that he had.

Tomorrow, Luke decided, he would go to her and they would start on the path to making things right again. It would take time, but he knew that they would work things out eventually. And this time, he wouldn't let anyone or anything ruin it.

Entering the small apartment, Luke stripped down to his boxers and approached the bed. However, the sight before him caused him to pause in surprise.

A miserable-looking Lorelai slept in his bed, with her slender arms tightly clutching one of his pillows. He could tell that she had been crying; her eyes were puffy and her face was blotchy. As she breathed in and out, she slightly snored.

Luke knew it was stupid, but she looked more beautiful to him in this moment than she ever had before. Because he could see, even as she slept, how much she loved him. She had stayed to wait for him.

Luke slowly advanced to the bed and sat down beside her, resting a hand on one of hers. The motion produced by his weight and the sensation of his touch caused Lorelai to stir.

"Wh- what? Luke! I'm so sorry! I am so, so sorry! Please just tell me how to fix this. I'm so sorry." Sitting up quickly, Lorelai threw her arms around Luke and began sobbing as she repeatedly apologized. "I'm so sorry. Please forgive me."

Luke wrapped his arms around her until she eventually stopped sobbing and apologizing.

Pulling away, he looked into her blue eyes and said, "I'm going to forgive you. I have to, not only because I love you, but because this was my fault too. We both need to forgive each other. But I need time; I can't do it today. Today, I need to sleep this day off. But I promise you, we're going to work things out."

"I love you too. Thank you," Lorelai softly replied with a small smile, sniffling. She slowly pushed herself off the bed in order to leave, until Luke gently pulled her back down into his arms.

"I'm not ready to talk, forgive, or even think. But tonight, stay. No words, no sex. Just stay with me," he whispered into her ear.

Lorelai nodded gratefully, flashing Luke another small smile behind her shoulder. They fell back onto the bed, settling into comfortable positions.

As the memories of the day washed over Luke, he pulled Lorelai closer, trying to block Christopher's leering face from his mind.

---

Rory waited anxiously for Lorelai's return in her reading chair, unable to actually focus on the novel in front of her. She was too nervous. _What if Luke doesn't forgive Mom?_ she wondered miserably. _Luke's the closest thing I have to father figure. I've spent every Father's Day with him for the last 5 years, even if we never admit that we're hanging out because of Father's Day._

However, her cell phone's buzzing interrupted Rory's worried thoughts. Hoping it was Lorelai confirming a happy reunion, Rory leap up out of the chair—the novel resting on her lap went flying to the floor—and quickly answered the phone without glancing at the number. "Hello? Mom?"

"Hey Ace."

Rory's heart jumped painfully. She hadn't given Logan much thought in the last few days, but suddenly she realized how much she missed him.

"Logan! How's London? Or should I say the 'Square Mile'?"

"Well, check you out, sounding like a naïve. The flight was long. I miss you. London's a bit dreary without you around."

She scoffed loudly. "London? Dreary? I don't believe that. Where have you been? Oh, did you go to the Palace of Westminster yet? How about the British Museum? Oh, please tell me you've seen the Rosetta Stone."

"Hey, hey, hey." Logan laughed. "I've only been here a couple days. Give me time."

"I wish I was in London." Rory said absentmindedly and immediately knew what Logan's reaction would be.

"Then come! I'll wire you money. It could be fun, spend our time visiting famous places, and doing other things…" Logan's voice was suggestive and Rory could imagine him raising his eyebrow as he spoke.

For a split second, Rory considered his offer, though she knew that there was no way she could do that to her mother. "Logan, I can't."

"Oh c'mon, why not?"

"Well, some things have been happening in Star's Hollow and I need to be here. For my mom."

Logan was silent on the other end; she knew that he disliked 'sensible' Rory and waited for him to tell her so. He didn't disappoint. "Ror, this is the opportunity of a lifetime. Your mom will do just fine without you."

"I know it is. But really, my mom really needs me…" Rory trailed off, thinking of her vow to rediscover herself. She wondered what Logan would think of that.

Perceptively, Logan asked, "Is that all? Your mom needs you? That's the only reason you're turning down a chance of a life time to visit London with your boyfriend?"

"Well, my mom isn't the entire reason, but she's definitely the biggest," Rory said.

"What else?"

"Well, lately I've been noticing how different I am from how I used to be. So I thought I might try to, you know, to 'rediscover' myself. And I think Stars Hollow is a good place to do that."

"I like you just the way you are."

Without thinking, Rory replied, "But I don't." Logan didn't respond and Rory sighed. "I just miss some of the things I used to do is all. I missing reading and spending time with my mom."

"Okay, Ace. I have to go."

"Oh, okay."

"I love you, Rory. Don't change too much while I'm gone."

Rory didn't bother to reply to the second comment. "Love you too."

---

A few hours after they had returned to the diner, Jess decided that it might be about time to check on Luke.

"Hey, I'm going to go upstairs for a minute," Jess called out to Lane, who was arguing with Kirk about the cost of his modifications to a tuna melt.

"Sure, Jess!" Lane responded, turning back to Kirk. "Look, Kirk, I am not going to take 50 cents of the cost of the tuna melt just because you don't want cheese today! It's only 3 dollars anyway!"

"But I am assuming that the cheese is part of the cost, and if I don't want the cheese, then-"

As Jess climbed the stairs, Lane and Kirk's argument faded into the overall clamor of the diner. He swung the door open, moving through the apartment to find Luke.

The sight of the Luke and Lorelai wrapped up together while peacefully sleeping made Jess smirk, and he turned to leave the room.

"Jess?" Luke whispered softly from the bed.

"Yeah?" Jess answered in an equally soft voice.

"Bring up some soup, wheat toast, and a burger, onion rings, and apple pie. I'm finally hungry again."

Jess couldn't suppress the smile that appeared on his face; since he'd arrived at Star's Hollow, convincing Luke to eat anything had been an arduous endeavor. Nodding even though Luke's eyes were closed, Jess turned to leave once again.

However, he glanced at the sleeping couple once more before leaving, and even though Lorelai's back was facing him, he was almost certain she was smiling.

---

Rory hung up, feeling a little frustrated. She had hoped that Logan would understand her quest to reconnect with her former self. Wasn't that the Rory he'd fallen in love with in the first place?

Still, she missed him and thought sadly of how far away Christmas was. _And London would be amazing… but I can't desert Mom right now, she really needs me._

At the thought of her mother, Rory realized that it had been quite a while since Lorelai had left and she still had no idea where her mother was or what was going on.

Pressing the 2 on her cell phone pad, Rory listened to her mother's cell phone ring several times, only to realize that the phone was sitting on the kitchen table.

The only other number Rory knew to call was the diner; she was certain that Lorelai would not have gone anywhere else once she told Luke. _But what if Mom and Luke haven't worked things out?_ _I don't want to upset him by calling and asking about her._

Praying that Lane or Caesar answered the phone instead of Luke, Rory took a deep breath and speed-dialed the diner.

But the voice that picked up the phone did not belong to Lane, Caesar, or even Luke.

"Hello?" Jess's cool voice answered.

"Oh hi, Jess."

"Rory?"

"Yeah. Um, this might sound strange, but do you know where my mom is?" Rory bit her lip, feeling rather silly asking Jess of all people if he knew where her mother was.

"Huh. You lost her?"

"Well, not quite. I just don't know where she is."

"I think Webster might argue that, given your description, you lost her."

"Shut up," Rory replied good-naturedly, feeling slightly flustered by his innocent teasing.

"Wow, Gilmore, your wit is astounding. What _has _that school been teaching you?"

"Look, I'd love to retort, but I really need to know if you know if my mom is there. I'm a little worried."

"Yeah, she's here."

Rory let out a sigh of relief. "And?"

"To paraphrase Goldman or, if you wish, Morgenstern, mistakes cannot stop true love. All they can do is delay it for a while."

Rory felt a smile take over her entire face. She knew they would work things out. "Well, I'll never doubt again," she joked.

"I don't think there will never be a need," he replied seriously.

His tone and words sent a shiver down her spine and a strangely comfortable silence lingered between them. Finally, Jess asked, "You hungry?"

"I'm a Gilmore."

"Come to the diner, I'll have Caesar make you something. If you hurry, you might catch what I have coined 'the tuna melt meltdown of 2006' between Lane and Kirk. I think she's going to end Luke's record."

"But only Luke kicks Kirk out of the diner!" Rory exclaimed.

"I think we are on the edge of something new. "


	9. Chapter 9: Back Where You Belong

Firstly, I'm a bit concerned with this story. I hate to sound needy, but I haven't received as many reviews as expected (by myself and others) and I'm wondering if the quality of the story is the reason. Please, if you have any suggestions to help me make this a better story, review.

Chapter 9 – Back Where You Belong 

_I let you go, now I'm changing my mind._

Rory dashed through the house, changing hurriedly and throwing on a pair of shoes. She couldn't help the grin on her face as she sprinted out the front door; something about the way Jess spoke to her made her feel as if he knew her. Really knew her.

When he'd quoted Goldman—_Or, if you wish, Morgenstern_, she recalled)—her face had felt as though it was going to split from smiling. _He remembers_, she'd thought happily.

One night, the two of them were discussing guilty reading pleasures and she'd admitted that the Princess Bride was secretly one of her favorites.

Of course, when he'd confessed that he'd once read and actually enjoyed the Harry Potter series, Rory had doubled over in laughter, gasping for air. He'd pretended to be angry and stormed away, but Rory had simply laughed more and convinced him to return by promising to never tell a soul.

Besides, she'd told him cheekily, everyone enjoyed those books. He was just like everyone else. He'd silenced her with a passionate kiss, and the memory ended there.

Feelings of happiness and nostalgia washed over Rory as she silently laughed at the silly memory. Shaking her head to push the final moments of the memory way, she quickly made her way to the diner.

Reaching for the door, Rory paused. All of these pleasant thoughts about Jess combined with negative ones about Logan were cause for concern and she knew it.

_You and Jess are friends. Nothing more_, she reminded herself. _You're just feeling strange with Logan being so far away_ _and Jess being so close._

Feeling better, Rory opened the diner door and walked in excitedly, hoping that she hadn't missed the 'tuna melt meltdown'.

"Kirk! I swear to God, if you do not stop arguing with me, I will break Luke's record!" Lane's screeching voice reached Rory's ears as her eyes met up with Jess's amused ones.

A hush overcame the commotion of the diner as Lane's words registered with the diner's patrons.

_No_, Rory thought happily to herself. _I'm right on time with front row seats._

Kirk stared at Lane with a dismayed expression. "But only Luke kicks me out. No one else has ever kicked me out of this diner."

"Well, I suggest you hand over three dollars and get out of here before I do something I regret!" Lane sounded so much like Luke that Rory giggled as she made her way to the counter where Jess watched.

"How long has this been going on?"

"About 25 minutes, though Lane occasionally storms away to serve other customers. I'd do it myself, but I don't want to miss the action," Jess answered, a familiar smirk appearing.

"And whose plates would those be?" Rory asked teasingly.

Jess glanced down at the plates in surprise. "Damn! I was supposed to—"

"Jeez, Jess. Are you planning on bringing our food up on anytime?" Luke's gruff voice interrupted.

Jess, whose face had been apologetic a second before, suddenly wore a smirk as he raised his hand in mock surrender. "Oh, sorry Hagrid. Please don't use your magic umbrella against me. I promise to be good."

Luke wore a mingled expression of irritation and confusion and Rory suspected that he didn't completely understand the reference. However, it reminded her of that silly conversation once more.

"Kirk! For the final time, hand over the 3 dollars!"

"But, I didn't order cheese so I shouldn't have to—"

Luke paused at the sound of Lane and Kirk arguing and surveyed the situation. He quickly walked around the diner counter and bellowed, "KIRK! Out. NOW!"

The quarrelling pair smiled gratefully at Luke and Kirk unceremoniously rushed out of the diner. Lane sighed and moved over to serve other customers.

"Jeez, Uncle Luke. Way to take away all the fun," Jess complained loudly as Luke seized the various plates.

"Just run the diner, would you? Rory, keep an eye on him for me," Luke responded as he made his way upstairs.

Rory smiled furtively as she leaned over the counter toward Jess. "Hagrid? Magic umbrella?"

"Hey, you promised."

Rory blinked her eyes innocently. "Promised what?"

"You know what."

"I'm really sorry, Jess, but if I can't remember the promise, how can I keep it?" she replied sweetly.

Lowering his voice, he muttered, "That I read the Harry Potter series, and actually enjoyed it."

"Oh, I'll keep your secret… Draco."

A few more patrons came in the diner door and Jess groaned as he put the cleaning rag away.

"That's what I love about this place," Rory said with a grin. "Service with a smile."

"Rory!" Lane rushed forward and the two unreservedly embraced.

Once they broke apart, Rory asked, "How's married life?"

"Oh, well… It's good…" Lane glanced at Jess.

"Fine, fine. Enjoy your girl talk, Mary-Kate and Ashley," Jess said good-naturedly, walking around the counter to the customers who had recently entered.

"So… details? You are now a married woman. How does it feel?"

"Oh, Rory, I never, ever thought I would say this, but I'm glad that waiting till marriage was the one thing that stuck. Being with Zach is…"

"Incredible? Amazing?"

"Beyond incredible. Beyond amazing. Indescribable. Lane Kim has finally entered the world of the sexually active," Lane announced triumphantly. "And she even did it her mother's way. I feel like Jessica Simpson after she finally married and had sex with Nick Lachey."

"Aww, Lane. Your many years of rebellion ultimately ended up in obedience to Mama Kim and Papa Joe!"

"Rory! I dyed my hair purple! I got drunk at a party and called my mother to let her know I was drunk. I moved out of my house and lived with two boys in a band. I married a non-Korean who will never, ever be a doctor. I've watched every single one of Kevin Smith's movies and am planning on seeing the new one in theaters! That is not obedience, my friend. Those are incredible, courageous acts of mutiny."

"Kevin Smith, Lane?" Jess asked mockingly as he handed an order to Caesar and began working at the till.

"Don't tell my mother," she responded instinctively, causing Rory and Jess to laugh.

---

As Lorelai heard Luke's feet moving up the stairs, she snuggled into the bed. Of all the scenarios she had imagined when telling Luke, she could have never imagined this would have worked out as well as it had.

_Not that things are fixed. But he's willing to let me fix it, and that's all I need to make things right again_, Lorelai thought determinedly.

The door creaked open and Luke looked like a vision with a burger and fries.

"Hey, you look like you could do with a little food," Luke stated quietly.

Lorelai nodded, moved out of the bed, and sat down at the table.

They began eating in silence; Lorelai was surprised that her food was cold but too hungry to really care about it.

After five minutes of silence, Luke said, "It's a zoo with Jess, Lane, and Rory running the place. I'm sure you'll start to feel the flames of the entire place burning down in a few minutes."

"Don't worry, they're good kids."

"Yeah, even Jess now. He's changed a lot since he last lived here."

"Really now? What will Stars Hollow do without its James Dean?"

Luke smiled at her, though it looked slightly forced. "Oh, he's still got an attitude. It's just less… abrasive. Still makes fun of me whenever he can. He even called me Hagrid downstairs. Something about an umbrella."

Lorelai glanced at Luke in surprise. "Why would he call you Hagrid?"

An awkward pause filled the apartment as Luke looked everywhere but Lorelai. Finally, he replied, "That's what April's friends call me. Hagrid. I guess it's a good thing, I don't know."

Lorelai smiled thinly. "Well, that certainly explains some of the comments at the party. And don't worry, it is a good thing."

"How would you know?"

"Oh, one night Rory and I rented all of them. They were cute. Sometimes unrealistic and relatively clichéd, but cute. Plus, Rory and I had a blast deciding which of the Harry Potter children were going to be the hottest."

"You are sick, you know that?" Luke said jokingly, enjoying the banter.

"It's what you love me for," Lorelai quipped and Luke's face was immediately impassive.

Quietly, Lorelai muttered, "I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay," Luke said, his voice strong. "It's true."

Luke reached out his hand to cover Lorelai's and squeezed it for a second. The two shared a private, hopeful smile before returning to their meal in silence.

---

"Oh, c'mon Lane," Rory said. "What could Mama Kim do? You're married and live outside the house."

"How could you doubt her power after witnessing it for so many years?"

"She's the only woman I ever called 'ma'am,'" Jess said as he moved toward them once again, causing Rory and Lane to snicker.

"See, she has that kind of power. She can make the town Biff become George McFly!"

"Order up," Caesar called from the kitchen.

"Hey, I was not Stars Hollow's Biff. Marty, maybe, but not Biff. And she didn't make me into George McFly. All I did was call her ma'am," Jess replied indignantly as he balanced the plates in his hands.

As Jess walked away, Lane shifted closer to Rory. "So, what's up with you?" she asked pointedly.

"Things are good. I miss Logan, but I'm happy to be in Stars Hollow again. Glad it's summer."

"Oh spare me the Data/Lore/B4 talk, Gilmore. I meant you and Jess."

"Data? B-4 what?" Rory asked confusedly.

"Oh, Trekkie reference. I'm sure Luke would have appreciated it," Lane responded absentmindedly. "Anyway, what is up with you and Jess?"

"Me and Jess? There is no me and Jess. A me and Logan, but no me and Jess. We're just friends."

"Humph," Lane muttered, glancing at him suspiciously.

"Hey Lane, break's over. Go serve someone," Jess called as he crossed the diner toward Rory.

Lane sighed and pushed herself off the counter. "Oh, fine. Rory, call me."

"Okay."

"Hey, you want to go for a walk later tonight?" Jess murmured once Lane had moved away.

He stood extremely close to Rory and Jess's cologne almost made Rory want to swoon. That was something she'd never enjoyed about Logan; he always smelt rich, of suede, expensive alcohol, and even more expensive cologne.

Jess's intoxicating scent, on the other hand, smelled natural and strongly reminded Rory of worn leather and something else she couldn't identify. She inhaled deeply, momentarily forgetting where she was.

"Like the way I smell, Rory?" Jess interrupted in an entertained voice, a smirk present as always.

"Sure," she returned calmly, though she avoided his gaze.

"So how about that walk?"

The fluttery feeling in Rory's stomach intensified, and she suppressed it as best she could. She evenly stared at him and casually answered, "Okay. Why not?"

---

A/N: Okay, so I know this wasn't as much "Lit" as some readers were expecting but I've come to a realization: I don't like stories that rush feelings, particularly as one person moves to another, which is my eventual goal. Therefore, I am going to take this relationship as slow as I need to, especially because I want to develop a strong foundation of friendship in addition to the intense physical and emotional attraction that Rory and Jess share.

Additionally, I wanted to demonstrate that Jess brings out the old Rory's best characteristics: she's slightly awkward, rather shy, and yet, independent and incredibly intelligent too.

Finally, I thought the song was particularly appropriate; both the Gilmore girls are back where they belong, Lorelai with Luke at the diner, and Rory with Lane and Jess at the diner.


	10. Chapter 10: When I Said That I Love You

Chapter 10 – When I Said That I Love You

_I meant that I love you forever._

After a few more hours of chatting with Jess and Lane, Rory left the diner and walked back to her house. At the center of her thoughts was her impending walk with Jess. She wasn't quite sure about his intentions and that made her nervous, especially after their last meeting.

She hadn't realized how it would look for her to go to one of Jess's Truncheon book functions alone, but after he'd kissed her, she'd recognized her mistake immediately. Rory faintly recalled the feeling of his lips on hers, though she'd spent a great deal of time suppressing the memory after it had happened.

When he'd asked if everything was fixed and she'd replied affirmatively, she hadn't thought of Logan as something that needed fixing. But the memory of Jess's words _('I thought everything was fixed')_ and her reply (_'everything but him'_) suddenly flashed through her mind, and she wondered what Jess had thought of that. She must have sounded like she wanted to be free of Logan.

_Maybe he thinks we are going to get back together? I am in Stars Hollow alone so it might look as though… _Rory reflected pensively.

She sighed. Before she'd went into the diner, she'd been so certain they were only friends, and now the thought of them getting back together didn't seem so bad. _In fact_, Rory reflected miserably, _it sort of feels right_.

"No," she muttered to the summer night as she walked on. She wasn't going to be that girl again; the girl that fell for the bad boy in town and left her perfectly acceptable boyfriend in the dust for a relationship that was doomed to fail.

_Though, Jess isn't really the bad boy anymore_, Rory reasoned. _He's grown up, more mature and responsible. He even wrote a book. As for Logan… perfectly acceptable… ha!_ _He cheated on me. He drinks too much. And he changed me._

Rory knew it was immature to blame Logan for all the changes that she was now fixing, but the changes all coincided with his entrance in her life. '

One comment about the way she dressed and suddenly, Rory was asking her grandmother for nicer clothing. Another comment regarding her hairstyle and suddenly Rory's normally style and dye free hair was full of bouncy curls, bangs, and hair dye. _And of course_, Rory thought bitterly, _all of the comments about my boring lifestyle didn't help_. Now, instead of reading or watching movies, Rory was out partying and drinking her time away.

Well, Logan. Not anymore. When you come back, I'm going to be the real Rory again, and I hope for the sake of our relationship you can handle it.

She glanced at the time on her cell phone and quickened her pace. The diner closed in five minutes, and Jess was going to meet her at her house five minutes after.

---

Fifteen minutes later, Rory heard a small knock. She put down her novel and made her way to the door, revealing Jess as she opened it.

She smiled. Something about the way he held his hands behind his back was oddly familiar.

"Hey. Ready to go?" he asked, gesturing outside.

Rory nodded and grabbed her jacket, closing the door behind her. "So, where to?" she asked.

Jess shrugged. "Doesn't matter. I just needed some fresh air and some company." They walked past Babette's house and the sight of Piermont caused Rory to laugh.

"What?" Jess asked and his eyes followed Rory's gaze. "Ah, good ol' Piermont. You know, I heard a deviant once stole him."

"You heard right. But luckily, that deviant returned him safe and sound."

"Thank god," Jess replied with a small chuckle. "The entire town was in uproar."

Smiling, Rory changed the subject. "So, you chose me for company on your venture for fresh air? I'm flattered."

"Don't be. It was either you or Kirk."

"Hilarious," Rory retorted. "So, are you meeting Kirk at a later time then? Maybe have a little moonlit dinner? I don't know if Lulu would like that."

"Hilarious," Jess mocked back. "And who is Lulu?"

"Oh, didn't you hear? Kirk has a girlfriend. He even lives with her."

"Miracles and wonders abound."

Smiling, Rory pulled on her jacket.

He glanced at her and said, "You look good. I like the wardrobe change."

"Oh, well, thanks," Rory said, glancing down at her blue t-shirt, jeans, and converse sneakers. "But this is what I wore to the diner."

"I know. I meant your wardrobe change in general. The last time I saw you, you were wearing some fancy jacket, overdone hair, and uncomfortable shoes. You looked like a rich Lorelai."

"What's wrong with that?" Rory asked crossly. "My mother has a great sense of style."

"I know she does. And it suits her. However, all of that…it's just not you."

His words hung in the air and Rory desperately wanted to tell him of her plan for rediscovery. However, after Logan's reaction, she wasn't sure she wanted to see Jess's response. She knew he would be positive about it, encouraging her to be herself again, which would just make her feel more angry towards Logan for not being supportive.

Therefore, instead of admitting her plan, she remained silent, crossing her arms.

"Look, Rory, when I saw you at your grandparents' house, I was shocked. You were so different. You looked fake, like you'd stepped out of a Louie Vitton store. You were living with your rich grandparents in Hartford. And you were fighting with Lorelai. You weren't the Rory I'd known at all."

"Everybody changes, Jess, especially in college," Rory snapped angrily, pausing at a corner and looking away. Suddenly, she felt irritated with Jess. _What does he know?_

She wasn't sure exactly why she felt so aggravated in the first place. Jess was only pointing out what she had been noticing herself in the last few days, but something about his disapproving tone bothered her immensely.

Jess stopped walking too and seized Rory's hand, causing her to uncross her arms and look back at him. He stared evenly into her eyes and said, "Yes, I know everyone changes. Hell, I did. But you practically evolved, though I don't like using that word because it insinuates better, which wasn't the case. That jerk took an intelligent, sweet, small town girl, and turned her into an appearance-obsessed, alcoholic socialite who gave up on school just because that rich jerk's father told her she wasn't good enough."

Rory's irritation faded instantly, though she looked away and pulled her hand out of his, feeling him recoil slightly as she did. She couldn't help but wonder if it meant something about how he felt about her.

His words hurt, though Rory knew it was mostly because they were true. Jess had voiced all her fears regarding who she'd become. Even though she was changing back, she was unhappy with the memories of that 'Rory'.

"Jess…just so you know, I'm still with Logan," she told him tentatively.

In lieu of replying, Jess nodded and stared at the ground as he walked. Rory watched his back straighten, his profile stoic in the moon light, and her heart squeezed painfully.

"I never really thanked you," Rory softly said.

Jess glanced up at her. "Thanked me?"

"For pulling my head out of my ass at that bar. I made up with Mom pretty soon after and returned to Yale."

Jess crossed the street, and Rory followed suit. "Well, you're welcome. I'm glad it helped."

"I have something to tell you."

"Huh. What's that?"

"I've spent a lot of time in the last week realizing how different I am and how I don't like it. It started after Logan left for London. I just looked around our apartment and felt like I didn't fit in anymore. So, I drove home to Stars Hollow, making a pact that I would "rediscover" myself this summer," Rory said quickly, feeling rather childish as she confessed.

"Sounds like a good idea. Sounds like a very good idea," Jess said, nodding his head. "Maybe once you start reading again, you'll find a better favorite than Goldman."

"Oh, coming from the guy who loves Harry Potter?"

"I do not love Harry Potter. I only said that I had read them ONCE and thought they weren't so bad. It's not like I'm a Potterhead."

"Fine, fine. What is your favorite book then?" She asked curiously.

"Well, at risk of sounding clichéd, Catcher in the Rye."

The answer _was_ cliché, but Rory thought that if anyone was entitled to enjoy that novel, it was Jess. "It's a good choice. Suits you."

They continued to walk around the town, chatting about Jess's life in Philadelphia and Rory's time at Yale, minus Logan. He talked about how much he enjoyed reading, editing, and publishing underground writers' work at the Truncheon while Rory discussed the incredible ideas she had encountered in her classes, the two occasionally arguing pleasantly over some of them.

"I didn't take you for a Kant sort of man," Rory said with a small smile.

"Oh, I'm not," Jess answered. "However, I understand the validity of his argument. Deontology states that morality must be consistent because emotions and consequences can be unpredictable. I think that's true."

"I agree. However, Kant places far too much emphasis on duty, which is a problem in its self when considering cross-cultural application. And while emotions and consequences can be unpredictable, does that give us the volition to ignore them? Plus, Kant provides no guidelines for selecting which universal principle to follow if a person is caught between two conflicting moral principles. And Kant assumes that the major principles are passed on, which isn't necessarily the case—"

"I have something to tell you," Jess said, interrupting Rory's long-winded rebuttal.

"Oh, okay," she said. Suddenly, Rory glanced around and realized that somehow, the two of them had ended up at the bridge.

A part of her wanted to laugh. It was so trite that she would end up here with Jess because she could never come to this place without thinking of him. She thought of it as their special spot and after he had left, she'd come out here to just think of him, letting memories like the picnic lunch and the night after the dance marathon wash over her.

"Rory, I love you. And I know, deep down, that you know I love you. You read the dedication, and I kissed you in Philly. And I think you know that Logan isn't the one for you." He paused, and Rory looked at the ground. She didn't want to hear his words, but she couldn't seem to walk away. Or say anything for that matter.

"But I'm not going to rush into something. I won't start dating you immediately after you and Logan are done. We did that before and it didn't work out, though I'll be the first to admit there were a lot of other factors. After tonight, I'm not going to bring this up again. I just… I want you to know that no matter what, even if you and I remain just friends, you will always be my Daisy."

He kissed her softly on the cheek and walked away, his silhouette, illuminated by the moon, fading in the darkness as his feet carried him away from her.

Sighing, Rory began walking home, her mind feeling very jumbled and confused. Only three hours ago, she had been so certain of where she and Jess stood. Now, all she knew was that her mind and heart were with two very different beings.

A/N: I hope this was enough of a Lit fix for my more impatient readers:) I've thought it over a lot, and though some people's arguments were very persuasive, I've decided that I won't rush Rory and Jess's relationship. Rory needs to grow up and realize a) that she's her own person and who that person is and b) that Jess and her are made for each other! However, she has to do the first one before her and Jess can truly be happy.

EDIT: This is my first chapter with my lovely beta, Hallon! I'm sure you will all notice (and appreciate!) the improvement she has generated. :) The "Hell, I did" comment from Jess is all hers!


	11. Chapter 11: Right Here Waiting

I'm updating! I'm sure you're all yelling, "About time!" I apologize, but I recently started work and additionally found myself with a bit of writer's block.

Right Here Waiting 

_Where ever you go, whatever you do, I will be right here waiting for you. _

Rory's heart both sank and leapt as she approached her dark, and clearly empty, home.

A part of her had hoped her mother would be home. She had so many conflicting thoughts and emotions right now that a heartfelt session of girl talk would have done her some good.

However, Rory was unsure of what Lorelai's reaction to Jess's moonlight confession would be and was slightly glad that she would not have to deal with it tonight. Despite the time that had passed, Rory wasn't sure her mother would be willing to recognize that Jess had truly grown up. Lorelai barely acknowledged the extenuating circumstances for Jess's previous behavior as it was.

She was also pleased to see the house empty because it meant, most likely, Lorelai was still with Luke. That could only be good. Rory felt a little nervous that her mother hadn't at least placed a quick call, but perhaps there just hadn't been a moment. Their relationship was bound to be fragile after Lorelai's confession, Rory reasoned, and she was willing to forgo a reassuring call if it meant the two would begin the healing process.

After leisurely walking though the yard, up the porch stairs, and through the front door, Rory flicked on the lights in the hallway. Paul Anka darted forward, pausing for a moment to happily sniff her, and continued out into the front yard to do his business.

She left the door open for him and slowly made her way through the house, wondering what to do with the rest of her evening. It had been quite a while since she'd been alone, particularly in this house.

A faint smile reached her lips as she recalled the last time she'd had this house to herself. All she had wanted to do was do her laundry 'her' way and consume Indian food—perhaps ending the evening by watching TV and falling asleep—but those plans had gone up in flames when a frantic Paris, a sneaky Jess, and finally, an angry Dean showed up.

Tonight, Rory mused, it was unlikely that there would by any unwelcome, or even welcome, visitors. It was just her, on her own, able to do whatever she wished. _And Paul Anka, of course_, she reminded herself with a smile, heading back to the front door to retrieve him.

He was cautiously sniffing a piece of grass close to Babette's lawn gnome, Piermont, and Rory stifled a giggle.

Waiting on the porch, she gazed at the midnight blue sky, full of stars and a bright moon. _It's a beautiful night_, she thought and a great sense of contentment swept over her.

A small breeze drifted by, causing Rory to hug herself until Paul Anka finally scampered back into the house.

Following the dog, Rory sat on the couch, realizing the thought of spending the night alone doing exactly what she wanted was both foreign and exciting. Since she had started dating Logan, alone time as a concept had all but disappeared from her world. And after a while, even the activities that required her to be alone changed; she'd begun studying in cafes or other busy places to ensure company and background noise. However, she found the peace and quiet of Stars Hollow calming, and her whirling feelings had now simmered down to a low roar. Pushing any remaining confusion regarding Logan or Jess out of her head, she determinedly made her way to her bedroom, knowing exactly what she wanted to do on a night like this.

She bent down at a bookshelf, pulled open a drawer, and quickly selected The Fountainhead. The novel felt worn and comfortable, her fingers gliding over the cover with expertise. Settling in her reading chair, Rory opened the novel and began reading, quickly leaving any thoughts of Lorelai, Luke, Logan, or Jess behind.

---

Rory awoke several hours later to the sound of her cell phone ringing. She glanced at the time, surprised to see that it was 4 o'clock in the morning. _Who would be calling me this late? Or is it this early?_ she wondered as she stumbled out of the bed, snatching the phone off her dresser.

"Hello?" She murmured blearily.

"ACE!" a loud voice yelled in response, causing her to drop the phone in surprise.

"Ace, Ace, you there? Can you hear me?" Logan shouted in the phone again.

"Logan, are you drunk?" Rory asked with a small smile, sitting down in her reading chair tiredly.

"Of course I am. I'm alone in a foreign country all alone, working with stuffy newspaper people."

"Oh, but London is an amazing place to be. You're going to start having fun soon, I promise."

"I miss you."

"I miss you too," Rory replied, but her heart felt guilty, like she was lying. She did miss him, but she didn't feel as though she missed him as much as she should.

"Ace, I'm gonna fly in for the weekend."

Rory bit her lip and let out a quiet sigh. "I don't think that's a good idea…" she said slowly. She did miss him, but she knew that any progress she'd made at being Rory again might be undone with a weekend visit.

"Oh c'mon, it'll be fun. Don't you want to see me?"

"Of course I do. It's just… that would be really expensive."

"Since when has money been an issue for me?" He laughed drunkenly and Rory was almost certain she could hear bar clamor in the background.

"Where are you right now?"

"I'm at a bar, of course. Where else can you go for a pint?" Logan asked in a terrible English accent.

"Logan, I'm sorry, but right now just isn't a good time. Things are really hectic."

"Is _he _there?"

She unconsciously flinched at the change in his tone, which had gone from happily drunk to bitter in three words. "Excuse me?" she asked, confused.

"Josh! Is the amazing writer Josh in Stars Hollow? Is that why you don't want me coming back?"

Rory was torn between irritation at Logan's disregard—she suspected he was using the wrong name on purpose—and guilt and surprise at his acuity. _You didn't do anything wrong though,_ she reminded herself determinedly. _You and Jess are just friends._

"Actually, yes. _Jess_ is in town. He's helping out Luke until Mom and Luke work things out. And no, that's not why I don't want you to visit. Now is just not a good time," she said firmly.

"Oh, and is it just a wonderful high school sweetheart reunion? Talking about the good times? Wondering why things didn't work out? Laughing about that boyfriend away in London?"

"Logan! Of course it isn't like that. We're just friends, and we're both helping Mom and Luke. It's a really rough time. I just… I need some space right now."

"What, the 5,000 miles hasn't been enough for you? The entire Atlantic Ocean separating us isn't enough space for you?"

"I didn't mean it like that! I just have a lot of things going on and right now isn't a good time. You know I want to see you," Rory cried desperately.

"Good ol' Rory, always being sensible instead of living life the way she should… instead of having fun and taking risks…"

She felt a small ball of fury form in her stomach. _Always being sensible? _she thought angrily. _With him around, I'm never 'sensible' Rory anymore._ However, she didn't want to cause a fight, so she simply replied, "Logan, it's just not the right time for me… please try to understand. Maybe in a few weeks. Besides, you've only been there a few days."

"Fine Ace, let me save you the trouble. You want space? You can have all the space you want because it's over! Don't bother calling me back. Oh, and tell _Josh_ I say hi," Logan said coldly, all traces of his drunken state having vanished.

The phone disconnected and Rory numbly placed her cell phone on the stand beside the bed.

Despite all of her angry and confused thoughts about him in the past few days, tears welled up in her eyes and quickly fell to the floor. It was over. She would never hear him call her Ace again. She would never attend another wild party with him, Colin, and Finn. She would never wake up with him beside her.

Crawling into her bed, Rory quietly sobbed until she finally fell into a fitful sleep, filled with dreams involving Jess, Logan, and the circus.

---

"Oh, Christopher, it's always been you. Luke was just a diversion until you and I could be together… the poor fool," Lorelai's sultry voice rang out, causing Luke to glance up at her.

To his surprise, she was scantily clad and approached a sneering Christopher, who looked her up and down in undeniable approval.

"LORELAI!" Luke shouted, but she acted as though she could not hear him and instead continued her sexy walk towards Christopher.

"I know. I'm so glad you came to me tonight," he told her as she slowly walked closer and closer. "Thank god you finally left Luke." He then glanced in Luke's direction, wearing that ever-present sneer.

"So am I," Lorelai declared. "Now I can be with you forever."

"Lorelai, no! I want to marry you, I do! Don't go to him!" Luke jumped up and stood in front of her, begging her to listen, but her face showed no sign of recognition.

"Let's go to the bedroom and make love for the next week."

"Christopher!" Lorelai laughed playfully, walking right through Luke as she closed the gap between her and Christopher. She learned forward and Christopher did the same, and their lips were barely millimeters apart…

"NO! NO! NO!" Luke screamed as he woke up abruptly, shaking and sweating. His frenzied movements caused him to fall out of the bed, waking up Lorelai in the process. He knew it had only been a dream, but the memory of Christopher and an eager Lorelai making love tore through him, and he felt bile rising in the back of his throat.

"Luke? Are you okay? Luke? Luke?" Lorelai cried frantically, moving toward him.

Luke stood up and stared at her, his anger multiplying by the second. Unable to restrain himself any longer, he shouted, "No! I am NOT okay! You slept with another man, Lorelai! You cheated on me!"

The tension in the air was tangible as Lorelai paused mid-movement, her face ashen as she listened to his words. She sat back down on the bed, watching him, and said, "Luke, I know, but I thought we were working—"

"You took the promises that ring on your finger represents and threw them in my face! You slept with another man! You slept with _CHRISTOPHER_!"

Instead of saying anything, she only nodded, and his heart pounded painfully at her acknowledgement.

"You knew how I felt about you and you ran off with him the minute it got rough. I've loved you for nine years, Lorelai! I've watched as you've met guy after guy, pretending that it didn't kill me every time. Everyone knew how I felt about you, everyone but you! And finally, when you and I are together, you cheat on me! With Christopher!"

"Do you even know how I'm feeling right now? I'm dying, Lorelai! All I can see is his face, mocking me, because in the end, you run to him! He wins! You win, Christopher!" Luke shouted.

Lorelai sat on the bed, her eyes glassy and hands trembling. And Luke hated himself for causing her pain, but he was starting to care less and less about her feelings.

All he could feel now was his own anger and resentment slowly ripping though his body, causing every last inch of him to ache. And she had caused this horrible, miserable feeling. That beautiful woman in front of him was the reason he could no longer breathe or feel anything but pain.

"I know, I know and I'm sorry, Luke! I am so sorry! You told me we could fix this!" she yelled back.

He sighed, the anger and resentment slowly shrinking as he stared into her deep blue eyes. All he could feel was numbness now, taking over all of the places that were consumed by fury only a second ago.

"I… need time. And space. I'm sorry. All of this—" he gestured to the two of them and the bed "—is too much."

"Okay." Her voice was soft but free from emotion.

"Lorelai, I need to go away for a while. I'm going fishing."

"For how long?" She asked, staring at him intently.

He thought for a minute and answered, "Two weeks. I need time to think about this. I need time away to… decide if I can be with you or not. And you need that time too. I want you to pick between me and Christopher."

"Luke, I don't have to pick. I choose you! You know that! I won't see him anymore if that's what you want!"

"I need to be sure of it, and so do you. And you can still see him… he's Rory's father. I just need to be sure that you're with me."

"Okay," she murmured. She got to her feet and walked towards the door.

Luke watched her move, feeling both anger and regret. He wanted to reassure her that eventually, this would work out, but his anger held him back.

However, as she stepped into the hallway, he said, "Lorelai!"

She halted and turned around. "Luke?"

"I— I still you love you."

Lorelai nodded and a brief smile reached her lips. "I love you too. I'll see you in two weeks…" With that, she turned away and walked down the stairs.

He stood motionless, listening to Lorelai make her way out of the diner, until he heard the bell tingle. She was gone.

Luke glanced at the clock. It was 4:30 in the morning. If he hurried, he could get the boat and his fishing gear ready, beg Jess to run the diner for the next two weeks, and be out of Stars Hollow by 6:00, avoiding explanations to any early birds.

---

"Jess. I need you to run the diner for two weeks," Luke said into his cell phone an hour and a half later.

"Huh?" Jess asked groggily, rubbing his eyes. _What time is it?_

"I'm leaving town for two weeks and I need you to help run the diner."

Jess blinked in surprise. "Where are you?"

"I'm in my truck with my boat attached on the highway. I'm going fishing." Luke stopped and realized he had no idea where Jess was. "Where are _you_?"

"I'm actually at the inn – it was the only place with a vacancy that I knew of."

Luke's heart ached at the thought of Lorelai, but he ignored it. "Well, I need you to run the diner for two weeks."

"Okay."

"I'll pay you."

"Okay."

"You can stay in the apartment," Luke offered.

"Luke, I said I would do it. Don't worry about it."

Even though he'd know that Jess would do it, Luke felt guilty. "What about your publishing job?"

"I have the summer off. We all work in 9 month shifts, remember?"

"Right. Well, call me if you need anything."

"You too," Jess said.

"Bye… wait, Jess?"

"Yeah?"

"I need one more favor… just watch Lorelai and Rory. Make sure they're okay while I'm gone."

"Okay, I will. And Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"Take care of yourself," Jess said quickly, slightly embarrassed.

"Thanks Jess." Luke hung up the phone and focused on driving, letting the open road fill his mind and take over.

A/N: I know not everyone will be pleased with how I've done this, but I really want to stay true to the characters. Let me know what you think!

EDIT Okay, so now this has been properly edited by my beta and, per usual, she's done a fantastic job. For anyone looking for an amazing writer, please go read her work under the pen name **Hallon**. Trust me, you'll be adding her to your favorites in no time!


	12. Chapter 12: Died in Your Arms Tonight

I hope everyone is enjoying this story – I'm starting to move forward into some of my plot lines so hurray! Anyway, reviews really encourage me so before you close this box or read another story, just write me a little review so I know how I'm doing!

Chapter 12 – I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight

_It must have been something you said, I shoulda walked away._

Rory spent the days following the break-up in a confused daze. Sometime that night Lorelai had crawled in the bed beside her, mumbling something about Luke needing time and going fishing. Rory had only nodded and scooted over, and the two had passed out from sheer exhaustion and misery.

After that night, Logan's number flashed constantly on Rory's cell phone—she'd started leaving it on silent or just turning it off due to the constant ringing—but she chose not to answer. Apologetic messages followed almost every call, though now she deleted them without listening. The first twenty had all sounded the same, so she certain that following twenty wouldn't be any different.

Furthermore, she wasn't ready to talk to him or hear his desperate apologies. He had hurt her deeply. Now, she knew just how little he trusted her, as well as how he was going to respond to her attempts at regaining some semblance of her former self.

She wanted to make things work with Logan, she really did, but this recent development was not very promising. Additionally, the reality of the situation had set in for Rory. Logan was living in London and would be for an entire year. Sure, there were holidays, but she wasn't sure that was going to be enough to keep them together.

_Especially if Logan plans on reacting like that every time I do something he doesn't agree with_, Rory thought bitterly.

She'd begun reflecting on their courtship and relationship intensely, combing over the details with intense concentration. Perhaps it was foolish, but she wanted some sort of sign that her and Logan were meant to be together to quash her doubts. But with every moment she spent trying to find a sign, she found more and more signs that Logan was not the one for her. Rory wanted to dismiss them, but the overwhelming evidence lingered in the back of her mind wherever she went.

Furthermore, there was Jess and his confession to consider. Rory couldn't deny her physical and emotional attraction to him, but she wasn't sure where that attraction was coming from, which worried her. Did her desire stem from their unresolved relationship from her younger years? Was her attraction a result of his image? Or did she possess genuine, heartfelt feelings for him that could actually go somewhere?

There was no denying that Jess had changed. He still retained some of that 'bad boy' attitude, but in reality, that was just Jess. It was his nature to be flippant and sarcastic, but Rory didn't mind. She knew that underneath the façade was a person who, despite his guardedness, was profound and real. Someone who loved unreservedly, though that love took a very long time to develop.

Rory let out a loud sigh. It was all so confusing and every time she thought she'd finally wrapped her frazzled brain around it all, something would cause all of her carefully constructed conclusions to topple over, and she'd have to start all over again.

"What's wrong, sweets?" Lorelai questioned. The two were sitting on the couch, having yet another movie marathon. Tonight's theme was worst movies ever starting with the letter G, and they had already finished Gigli and moved on to Glitter.

"This movie is, without a doubt, terrible," Rory replied, not in the mood to give her mother a real answer.

"I personally think this move required a great deal of talent," Lorelai responded in a phony offended voice. "I mean, only Mariah Carey could ruin a film about Mariah Carey. No one else could have done so horribly, and for that, I think she deserves recognition."

"Fine, fine," Rory grumbled. "Only Mariah Carey could have created a movie so spectacularly bad. Pass me the Red Vines, would you?"

"But I'm not done with them," Lorelai cried, clutching the box to her chest.

"So just hand me a few."

"But what if I wanted them all?"

"Then you are spectacularly selfish," Rory teased.

"Oh, fine, but only if—" Lorelai was interrupted by the phone ringing, and she smiled evilly. "Only if you answer the phone! Ha! I was originally only going to ask you to pass the Mars Bars!"

Rory dutifully got up, though she threw a pillow at her mother's head while passing. "Hello?"

"Rory, is that you?" a familiar voice screeched.

"Hi Paris," Rory answered and Lorelai laughed from the living room, so she moved into the kitchen and sat at the table.

"Why aren't you answering your cell phone? I've been calling for days!"

Rory silently groaned. She'd gotten in the habit of assuming that all calls or messages were from Logan since they came so frequently. "I'm sorry. It's a long story, but I haven't gotten any of your calls or messages if you left them."

"I imagine it has to do with Blondie?"

"If you're referring to the pop singer, then no, leave poor Blondie out of this. If you mean Logan, however, then yes, the one and only. But I don't really want to get into it right now…"

"That's fine. I'm actually calling you with a business matter."

"A business matter?" Rory replied, surprised. She wasn't sure what business matter Paris could possibly have to talk with her.

"Actually, it is more of a career opportunity that I'm invested in. The young women's magazine, WIT, is interested in developing a weekly column involving book reviews. Since I am a long time investor, subscriber, and now summer employee, I am recommending you for the position."

"Oh wow, Paris. That's amazing. I've never heard of the magazine… Wit, you said?"

"Yes, capital W-I-T. It stands for Women for Intellectual Treatment and is the intelligent young woman's Cosmo. Of course, instead of articles detailing with how to please your man or what shoes are currently out of style, WIT has articles regarding how to develop an informed political opinion or how to objectively evaluate an opponent's argument. So, what do you think? I already told them you'd do it."

Rory grimaced slightly. _Typical Paris._ However, she had to admit that it was a great opportunity. It gave her more communications experience, even if it wasn't with a newspaper. _Plus, it's money, which I don't have a lot of_, Rory reminded herself.

"Where would I be working?"

"Actually, I managed to wrangle you an email gig. You just have to write the article and email it every week by the deadline. However, you have to choose approved books. I know you Rory, you read more than anyone I know. At least, you used to."

Paris's final comment caused Rory to physically flinch, and she didn't respond for a moment.

"Look, Gilmore. You know I don't approve of that Tristan-wannabe. He's changed you."

The truth of Paris's astute observation startled Rory. She had never noticed it before, but Logan _was_ very similar to Tristan, someone who she'd spent a lot of her time in high school disliking. _How very ironic,_ Rory thought grimly.

"I'll take the job," she told Paris, ignoring her previous statement. "When do I start?"

"The next deadline is a week from tomorrow. I've already sent you an email with specific details, including payment, and the list of approved novels. WIT is targeting a younger sect of girls than before, so I would start alternating between classic novels—you know, the standard Dickens, Austen, Fitzgerald—and more obscure, important works. Let's educate these girls to the best of our abilities."

"Okay."

"Don't mess this up, Gilmore. It'll make me look bad since I recommended you," Paris said abrasively, but Rory knew it wasn't meant to be offensive or harsh.

"Okay… and Paris?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. I really needed this. In more ways than one."

Paris's voice softened as she replied, "You're welcome, Rory. And stop being a stranger."

Rory hung up, thinking about what novel she would review first when Lorelai called from the living room.

"Hey, are you done in there? You're missing Mariah's warning about never taking life for granted! This is moving stuff!"

She laughed and walked back to the living room. "Any chance you saved me some Red Vines?" she inquired, plopping down on the couch.

Lorelai handed the box over and hushed her. "This is the best part, shush!"

"The best part of Glitter? There's an oxymoron if I ever heard one," Rory muttered quietly, ignoring Lorelai's insulted hiss.

"Ah, what a classic," Lorelai said happily after the credits began rolling.

"Speaking of classic, that was Paris on the phone earlier. She offered me a job at a magazine writing book reviews."

"Oh… Well, where at?" The disappointment was evident on Lorelai's face and Rory smiled.

"What? You going to miss me?"

"Of course not. Paul Anka and I were talking just the other day, and we decided that you take up way too much space. Not to mention you're smelly, but he said that, not me."

Paul Anka's ears lifted at the sound of his name, but he did not get up from his basket in the living room.

"Well, that's just too bad because I'm writing articles for WIT, a young woman's magazine, and they only have to be emailed," Rory retorted smugly, crossing her arms over her chest.

Lorelai shrieked gleefully and tackled Rory with a tight hug.

---

The days following Jess's confession to Rory were torture for him. He wanted to be mature and promise himself that he and Rory would remain friends regardless of her decision, but he was scared. He wanted Rory to love him as much as he loved her, but he wasn't willing to force himself on her like before. She had to want to be with him like he wanted to be with her. _At least_, he thought wryly, _that's what you keep telling yourself._

Therefore, he felt he was lucky that Luke had asked him to run the diner during his absence. Firstly, the physical process of running the diner kept him busy, so Rory stayed in the back of his mind, instead of the forefront. Additionally, Luke's mysterious disappearance had kept the gossipmongers of Stars Hollow, namely Patty and Babette, working over time and most of their inquiries were directed towards Jess. This served to keep him busy just handling their antics.

"Oh darling, just a little hint about Luke's secretive departure. Does it have to do with Lorelai?" Miss Patty wheedled, flashing him a smile that Jess assumed was supposed to entice him to confess.

"Unless Luke is planning on using Lorelai as fishing bait, I don't think so," Jess lied smoothly.

"Oh, so he's just gone fishing?" she asked, clearly disappointed. She sighed loudly. "That's a pity. It's been rather boring around Stars Hollow lately."

He smirked and nodded, walking away. _There_, Jess silently declared, glancing back at Miss Patty. _That should at least keep them away from prying too deeply. _

That was the nice thing about a bad boy reputation Jess reflected with amusement after his third verbal inquisition from Miss Patty. _No one expects you to cooperate, so even a small amount of cooperation is enough. _

As the day came to a close, Jess bid Lane and Caesar goodbye as he locked up. He wasn't quite as efficient at running the diner as Luke, but he thought it had gone pretty well, all things considering. _Things being Rory's relentless presence in my head_, he noted dryly.

He wished she had come in, but for some reason both her and Lorelai had been absent. Nobody had noticed, but that was only due to Luke's nonappearance. Miserably he wondered if Rory had told Lorelai about Jess's declaration; they'd probably shared a good laugh afterwards. And now they weren't coming in to avoid laughing in his face. He groaned at the thought.

After wiping down the counters, he turned off the lights and went upstairs. He was glad Luke had offered to let Jess stay in the apartment; the inn was pretty expensive for a workingman, and the thought of running into Lorelai made it even more unappealing. He still wasn't exactly sure of how she felt about him, though given their previous meetings, his guess was that they would not be become best friends any time soon.

Luke's blinking answering machine caught Jess's eye, and he wondered if he missed a call from Luke. He pressed a button to play the message and moved toward the sandwich he'd brought from the diner.

However, he paused when his mother's frantic voice filled the room.

"Big brother! Karen keeps contacting me about meeting Jess and I really think we should tell him. He's grown up now and I'm sure he'll understand… Please call me back!"

Clenching his fists, Jess felt his face turn red. He grabbed his jacket and stormed out of the diner.

He didn't know who this Karen was or why she wanted to meet him. All he knew was that he and Liz needed to talk. Now.

A/N: I hope everyone is intrigued now! Though, I think it's pretty obvious where I'm going with it… :)


	13. Chapter 13: Eternal Flame

Someone reviewed and mentioned that Rory and Jess hadn't been together for two chapters, so hopefully this will appease them. Additionally, I've been fiddling with the idea of reformatting this story – new title (after careful consideration I've realized it just doesn't work how I want it to), combining chapters since they are so short, and other changes. But we'll see.

Oh, and for whatever reason, my various italics and certain marks are disappearing when I post. I'll try and catch all of the things missing.

Eternal Flame  
_A whole life so lonely, and then you come and ease the pain._

Rain poured down in furious sheets, but Jess hardly noticed the wetness as he walked around Stars Hollow. It was almost one in the morning, but he already knew that any attempts at sleep would be futile in his current state of mind. His mind felt frenzied and miserable at the same time. Shaking his head, Jess shoved his hands into the pockets of his worn leather jacket and continued his aimless stroll.

His fury at being kept in the dark about anything concerning his life had brought him to Liz's door in a towering rage only two hours ago. Standing in the rain on her front porch he'd demanded answers regarding the mysterious message on Luke's answering machine. Who was Karen? Why did she want to meet him? Why did Liz think he would understand and why did Luke think he wouldn't?

She'd ushered him in, her face ashen as she sat down at the kitchen table with him. Her hands had trembled, her voice shook, and she'd uttered a statement that had rocked his world.

"_I'm not your real mother." _

When Jess had heard her words, he waited for the shock to set in. Certainly this was a situation in which shock would be an appropriate reaction. But he hadn't felt it at all. In fact, all he'd felt was anger and resentment. Not only had they lied to him all of his life, but he had been subjected to a crazy existence from a mother that wasn't even his. All the drugs, the men, the vagrant lifestyle she led… none of that was ever meant for him. Yet he'd had to endure it because of Jimmy's mistakes.

Jess laughed humorlessly. Most people would be upset that they had been deceived. Jess was, but he was madder that he'd stayed with Liz for so long when the only reason he was staying—because she was his mother—wasn't even true.

He hadn't meant to, but he'd lashed out at Liz more strongly than ever before. Normally he treated her with sneering indifference and walked out when she said or did something he didn't like. This time he shouted angrily at her, blaming her for all the pain and misery in his life. T.J. had come running at Jess's heated tone and volume of voice, though the sight of Jess yelling at the top of his lungs in his kitchen had stopped him dead in his tracks.

"_WHY? Why did I live with you instead of her?" He roared._

"_She wasn't in a position to take you, Jess! She didn't want you! But I did!" Liz cried, tears streaming down her face._

"_A whole lot of good that did me, didn't it?" He'd shot back, and her face fell. _

The night had continued in a similar vein with Jess standing in Liz and TJ's kitchen yelling at her until he had no words or voice left. Most of it hadn't made a lot of sense, but he'd just been so angry. This life he'd been forced to lead was arbitrary. It never had to be his. The unfairness of it all just killed him.

When there wasn't anything left to say he had left quickly, leaving in his wake a sobbing Liz and confused/shocked T.J.. And now here he was, wandering around Stars Hollow—which he had referred to as his own personal hell on more than one occasion—in the rain because he didn't know what to do. He wanted to go to Rory, but he wasn't sure that was an option. Would him going to her tonight change her mind in some way? He wasn't sure, and he didn't want to find out the answer just yet. And though he'd decided to play nice for now, there was still that incident at Truncheon Books the two of them needed to resolve. He was still angry, especially when he thought of her using him to hurt Logan or when he recalled her words (_'I just… I'm in love with him. Despite all the bad he's done, I can't help it')_. It made his blood boil.

_There is only one thing to do_, Jess decided firmly. He would go to the bridge, because it was the only place that he could be at a time like this. At the bridge, he could at least feel close to Luke and Rory, the only people he honestly loved.

As he walked Jess wondered if he'd unconsciously known all along that Liz wasn't his real mother. Their relationship had never been close, though maybe that was because Liz secretly resented him for Jimmy's indiscretion.

The sound of fading footsteps interrupted Jess's thoughts, and he was surprised to see Rory in the distance, as though he'd willed her to appear. She was clearly making her way to the bridge and, judging by the determination and firmness in her step, he was fairly sure she hadn't seen him.

Frozen where he stood his heart ached as she quickly walked in the opposite direction. He desperately wanted to stop her, knowing that only she could take this misery and make it okay. Instead Jess watched her diminishing back. He loved her, but she was complicated. It was better for him to wait till she came to him. Rory wasn't the type of girl that could be crowded. She took time to make decisions, especially decisions of the heart. And he knew that being with him would be a risk for her, just as being with her would be a risk for him. But despite their history he wanted to make it work, if and when she was ready.

He considered walking back to Luke's diner, but the thought of sitting alone in the stuffy apartment made him feel even more miserable. _Besides_, Jess thought grimly, _the rain is fitting. _Instead he headed towards the gazebo at the center of Star Hollow. Sitting down on the wet bench, he closed his eyes, trying to ignore the despondency haunting him.

"_What do you mean she wasn't in a position to take me?"_

"_Oh Jess, she was in college and had a bright future in front of her. A baby wasn't part of her plan."_

"_You took in a baby from another woman? A woman that your husband had cheated on you with?"_

"_Well, I wasn't sure at first, but then I saw you and I couldn't let her put you up for adoption. Jess, I did this for you!" Her eyes had pleaded with him, begging him to understand and to stop yelling. _

"_For me? FOR ME?" He'd screamed, and another rant had begun._

He'd almost fallen asleep while reliving his heated encounter with Liz when he heard footsteps again. Rory was quickly moving toward him, crossing the grass to the gazebo. She was soaking wet, her long hair and clothing plastered to her body. _She's still beautiful_, he thought.

When she reached the stairs, she glanced up at him, wearing a shy look. He nodded quickly and she walked up the stairs, her intensely blue eyes watching his every move.

She sat down, and Jess resisted the urge to move closer to her.

"I was looking for you." Her words surprised him, but a small feeling of hope replaced the crushing sadness that he previously couldn't shake.

"Why?"

Rory scooted closer and looked into his eyes. "I needed a friend," she replied honestly.

Her worlds shattered his heart. There it was, out in the open and plain for him to hear. She only wanted to be his friend, when he wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with her. But he'd lost the chance a long time ago, before he'd even known what he had. He should have known, but when it came to Rory, he just couldn't help himself. Even when he was furious with her, he loved her wholeheartedly.

Taking a deep breath, he mustered every bit of strength he had left, though it wasn't much after tonight's events. He had told her they could be friends if she decided not to be with him, and he had to respect that she didn't love him anymore. That their chance had been ruined long ago.

Rory glanced at Jess's face, and though he desperately tried to control his emotions, his face was anything but passive. His slight scowl had deepened and his body had tensed. Realizing his potential misinterpretation of her words, Rory smiled and placed a reassuring hand on his thigh. Her touch was warm and tingles emanated and spread from the point of contact. Suddenly Jess felt like he was sweating, despite the rain, wind, and his wet clothes.

"You look like you could use a friend too," Rory ventured softly, and he wanted to laugh at the irony of the statement but chose not to.

"Maybe." It was as close as he could come to actually admitting that he needed someone, but he knew she understood. Somehow Rory always understood him, even when she didn't realize she understood. Or even when she was breaking his heart.

She removed her hand, and Jess felt the coldness seep in once again. But she didn't place her hand at her side as he assumed she would. Instead her fingers hovered above his hand and she stared into his eyes, asking for permission. He didn't make a noise as he entwined his fingers with hers, wondering what she was thinking.

"Anything you want to talk about?" she asked. Her tone was light, but he knew she could tell something was wrong.

Jess glanced at her, torn with indecision. Finally, he responded, "A small part of me is still angry at you."

Her surprised expression revealed her confusion and for a moment, he felt that bubbling fury rising once more. How could she forget what had happened in Philadelphia? She continued to stare blankly at him until he elaborated. "Jeez Rory! The kiss at Truncheon Books," he spit out, scowling.

Her face immediately became apologetic, and she began to apologize. "Oh Jess! I'm so sorry about that. I was just so confused and I came to you, but I should have known what you would think…" She trailed off, watching him intently once more.

He said nothing because she was right. She should have known how it would look for her to come to Philadelphia alone, especially when she was claiming that things were 'fixed.' It was foolish, but Jess assumed at the time that part of fixing her life had been dumping that blonde jerk and being with him. She should have remembered that night in Stars Hollow when he first told her he loved her. He'd meant it then and he meant it now. Even if he'd been too young to really understand the depth of it the first time, he'd meant it nevertheless. And at the bridge, he understood it more completely than he'd ever wanted to.

She shifted uncomfortably, indicating her uneasiness, but Jess willed himself to remain silent. It wasn't that he wanted to hurt her, but he didn't think it was unreasonable to want her experience a small fraction of the distress that she often caused him. She needed to recognize that she hurt him and that wasn't acceptable. And that he wasn't always going to forgive and forget.

"I know I hurt you," she said cautiously.

A humorless laugh almost slipped though, but he held it back, and waited.

"I never meant to, I promise. I just… when you're around I do stupid things. I use the fact that I think you love me against you, and I don't even know why I would do that because I'm normally a very nice person and I hate people like that. I run away or run to you and only end up hurting the both of us because whatever I do, it's always the wrong thing. I run away when I shouldn't and run to you when I shouldn't. And I just don't know why. I'm such a fool for you," she muttered the final line and Jess could tell she was close to tears, her body shaking in the cold.

Her reply wasn't what he was expecting, but it was more than enough. He gently rubbed his thumb against her hand, caressing the skin. She smiled, and wiped a few tears away with her other hand.

"Liz isn't my real mother." The words felt and sounded surreal as he said them.

Rory's mouth formed a small 'o' as she gasped. "What?"

"After I closed the diner, I listened to Luke's machine. Liz had left a message about someone named Karen who wanted to meet me. So I went to her and she told me."

She squeezed his hand, silently urging him to go on.

"I yelled at her. I don't think I've ever been so mad in my entire life. I just hate knowing that all of my experiences were so arbitrary. My life in New York, my life in Stars Hollow… that never had to be mine. My real mom went to college and was successful. My life could have been so different. I could have been so different."

"I'm glad you're not," she whispered and his skin prickled at her words. Something about the way she knew just what to say made him feel like he was seventeen and heady with love again. "Besides, how would I have ever met you if you hadn't come to Stars Hollow?"

"Maybe I would have gone to Yale."

She nodded, indicating that this was a possibility. "Or maybe you would have gotten lost and come to the diner for directions, only to encounter a beautiful coffee addict."

"What? Lorelai?" he joked but could not muster up the right feeling with the words. Rory laughed anyway—maybe to make him feel better or maybe because she didn't notice—and slugged him on his shoulder with her free hand. He suspected she was simply playing along; the smile on her face looked forced.

"I think we were meant to meet each other," Rory declared.

"Why's that?" He asked slowly. There were a lot of implications that one could draw from that statement, and he didn't want to get the wrong (though opposite) idea like before.

"How else would I read Hemingway?" she teased. "And who would call my precious Ayn Rand crazy?"

"She is crazy," he muttered, and she slugged him again.

"Jess?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell me more about tonight."

He glanced at her and could tell that her request was sincere. He cleared his throat and began to quietly talk about the night, elaborating and confessing some of his worries. Rory listened, only speaking occasionally for clarification.

"Are you going to meet her?"

"Huh?"

"Karen, your real mother. Are you going to meet her?"

Jess realized that he'd been so wrapped up in how angry the situation made him feel that he hadn't even remembered why Karen had even come up in the first place. She wanted to meet him.

"I don't know."

"I think you should."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

The two sat in the gazebo holding hands for a long time, talking about literature and music. Jess was grateful; he could only handle so many confessions in one night. Eventually he realized that it was three o'clock in the morning.

"Rory, it's late."

"I know… and I'm freezing and hungry."

As casually as he could manage, Jess replied, "Well, there's some food in the diner."

He wasn't sure how she would interpret this, but she only nodded and said, "Okay. To the diner then."

A/N: So I hope the twist was believable for everyone! I personally have an issue with cousins and relationships, even if it's only step-cousins by marriages, so I just had to incorporate this story line since I plan on working things out between Luke and Lorelai. Besides, I wanted to have something special going on with Jess, since Rory's rediscovery is all her own.


	14. Chapter 14: Edge of Morning

Standing on the Edge of Morning

_Scent of sex and New Found Glory playing as she's pulling back her hair._

The bell above the door of the diner chimed as Jess unlocked the door, and Rory smiled at its familiar sound. Jess moved toward the back to start the grill, so she slid into a seat at the front counter. A small smile flashed on his face as he saw her sitting there; it brought back a lot of good memories.

"So, ma'am, what will it be?" Jess asked in sarcastic voice, his imaginary pen poised on the pad.

Grinning, Rory answered, "Well, may I please see a menu?"

Jess groaned in response, handing over a plastic menu. "Rory, you eat here almost everyday."

"Wow, such service," she replied as she perused the diner menu she knew by heart. "Well, I think I want some soup."

Jess stared at her as if she had grown three heads. He didn't even know that she knew that she could eat soup.

She glanced around her, unsure of what he was staring at. "What?" she asked.

"Soup, Gilmore?"

"Well, I'm cold. We just spent two hours in the rain. And I ate soup all the time at DAR meetings…" she trailed off as Jess raised an eyebrow at her, a blush quickly rising to her cheeks. "Make that a burger with fries and any sort of pie you can manage. And maybe turn up the heat," she added with a shiver.

"Be right back." He climbed the stairs to the apartment, grabbing a couple towels and pausing to adjust the thermometer. When he returned to the downstairs, Rory was idly doodling on the counter with her finger, clearly in thought. He wondered if she was thinking about Logan but pushed the thought aside because he knew that he had no reason to be jealous, even if Logan was a bastard that didn't deserve her love.

He placed a towel on the counter and she faintly smiled in his direction, though he could tell his presence and the towel had barely registered in her whirling thoughts.

He let his own thoughts wander as he cooked her burger and fries, thinking about Karen. His real mom. He didn't know why, but he suddenly wondered if it was Liz or Karen that had named him. Maybe if he had stayed with Karen he would have been a Kevin or a John… or even worst, a Dean or a Logan. Jess scowled at the thought, though he knew it was a little immature. _Ha, at the very worst I could have been a Tristan._

He was finally coming to terms with the recent development in his life, though he still felt as bewildered as he had when Liz had first told him. He had finally been getting a hold on things, finally building up his life from the ashes it had started in, only to find that everything that made him might have never been meant for him. _I should have known something like this would have happen_, he scolded himself. Trouble followed Jess Mariano, even when he wasn't the one causing it.

Absentmindedly, he wondered what Karen looked like. He'd met his father and had seen a lot of himself in Jimmy, both physically and in personality. What parts of himself would he see in Karen? Of course, that was assuming he decided to meet her. He wasn't much for family, and he was certain this meeting would be just as awkward as all his encounters with family members.

But he had to, even if it was just for curiosity's sake. He needed to see her and know why she'd given him up. Jess needed a reason for his life, so he could shake that faint feeling of hopelessness that plagued him every time the thought of the randomness of his life came rushing forth.

Meanwhile, Rory continued to get lost in her own thoughts. Tonight she'd gone determinedly looking for Jess and had found him but now felt rather confused on why she had come in the first place. When she'd left, the plan had been to inform him of her and Logan's break-up. But now she wasn't quite sure what to do or say, mostly because she was unsure of what telling him meant or how he would react. Would he think she was ready to be with him now? Was she ready to be with him instead? Would it work out this time? _There are so many unanswered questions to contend with_, she thought irately.

_Besides,_ she reminded herself silently, _you decided that you needed closure with Logan before you started anything with Jess._ But she hadn't had the courage to dial Logan's number quite yet, though his number continued to flash on her cell phone every day, though far less frequently than before.

This last part scared her, as she knew it indicated that Logan was losing interest in her and making up. Despite her resolution that breaking up would probably be for the best, she was scared to lose his love, even if she was gaining Jess's. Logan had been a huge part of her life, and ending things with him would be the final act proving that the last year and a half had been a waste. That would be a hard realization to face, especially for someone like herself. She'd always taken pride in the choices she made, convincing herself that they were the right ones for her. It was only lately that she was beginning to realize that sometimes she chose the worst.

Sighing, Rory shook her head in frustration, resting it on the counter. She had to resist the urge to bang it against the hard surface, knowing it would only attract attention from Jess. She needed to gather her thoughts first.

She needed to decide what she would say when she actually did call Logan, especially when he asked why she hadn't answered his numerous calls. No matter what excuse she gave, he would be angry and she didn't want that. She didn't want their last interaction to be characterized by angry, irrational screams of blame and resentment. Preferably, she wanted to end on a mutual agreement that this was for the best, and that what they'd had together had been good while it lasted.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Jess asked dryly, disturbing her reverie, when he'd finished making the burger and fries. He'd spent most of the time thinking about Karen and watching Rory out of the corner of his eye, almost amused by her visible internal struggle. He just wasn't sure what she was struggling about, though he had a fairly good idea. And for some reason, he felt frustrated by her confusion and indecision There shouldn't be a struggle. She should know that she was meant to be with him.

"Oh!" Rory jumped, bumping her head against the counter in the process as Jess deposited the plate of fries and burger in front of her. "Ow! Well, no. More like, well, whatever is smaller than a penny."

"Well, most foreign currency then," he deadpanned, though once again, his heart wasn't in it. She didn't even bother laughing, though a weak smile appeared on her face for a moment.

"Anything you want to talk about? You look like you could use a friend," he asked, using her words from earlier. Out of habit, he began wiping down the counter with a moistened rag though he'd cleaned the counter only a few hours ago. A voice in the back of his head told him to sit next to her, but Jess thought the better of it. Him behind the counter, her in front of it; that had always been their dynamic.

"Logan broke up with me," she said tentatively, testing the words as they filled the air. They felt strange forming in her mouth, but she felt emboldened by them too. Initially she'd felt so sad that their relationship had ended, but now she was suddenly filled by a sense of a hope.

Jess raised an eyebrow, fighting the fervent smile that was threatening to take over his face. He hadn't realized that it would happen this soon, but he couldn't deny that it pleased him. A lot. "I see," he said stoically.

His short words were not what she expected and a large wave of disappointment washed over her. She glanced away to hide her unhappy expression, missing the corners of his lips shifting up. Her disappointment became anger as she processed his reaction. '_I see,'_ she silently fumed._ That's it?_ Unable to restrain herself, she said, "Is that all you're going to say about it? 'I see'? "

"What do you want me to say, Rory?" he asked, a small frown forming on his face at her words. "Do you want me to jump up and down? Do you want me to dance around the diner in joy? Let me tell you, I'm glad it's over. Really glad. But I'm not going to be a jerk about it. _I'm_ bigger than that." He crossed his arms over his chest, and Rory could physically see and feel him closing up.

Immediately, she felt regretful about her reaction to his response. His message regarding her behavior was loud and clear, and sadly, correct. Jess was being mature about the situation; it was her who was acting like they were seventeen again.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just expected _more_ is all."

"Maybe that's your problem."

"What?" She asked in surprise.

"Expectations. You always have them for everything in your life. And then when anything or anyone fails to meet them, you're disappointed. You're like Pip."

"I am hardly Pip," she replied crossly. "And I'm sorry if I expected some sort of positive reaction to the fact that the only person standing in the way of us getting together is finally gone."

Her words reminded him of Dean's words so long ago at the Dance Marathon and he visibly stiffened at the memory. He wasn't quite proud of the way that he and Rory had acted, though he still didn't like Bag Boy. And he still thought he was a jerk for breaking up with in front of everyone like that, though Jess secretly believed that he probably would have reacted the same way if he had been placed in the same situation. He vaguely wondered whatever happened to Dean but decided that tonight was not a good night to ask.

"Look." Jess ran his hand though his hair. "It's been a really long night. I'm happy about you and Logan breaking up, you know I am. I just have a lot going on."

Rory nodded, her negative feelings disappearing. She should have known after tonight that he wouldn't be ready to hear that. It was all too much, and she understood completely. "Well, I should leave." She glanced down at her barely touched food, and smiled apologetically. "Tomorrow I'll eat, I promise. Maybe I'll even pay…"

Her announcement of departure surprised him. He hadn't realized that she would think that he wanted her to leave; he only wanted to stop fighting for a while. A fleeting look at the clock revealed that it was almost four o'clock and he silently sighed. When she left, his mind would be assaulted of thoughts of Karen and Liz and he wasn't sure he could handle that.

"You don't have to go…"

"Yeah?" Her eyes bored into him, and he felt almost uncomfortable under her stare.

"Yeah. We could watch a movie."

Rory looked surprised. "Luke owns movies?"

"Huh. Probably not."

"Well then…." Rory rose from her chair, slowly making her way to the door.

As the she let the words trail out and the silence fill the room, Jess realized that Rory was testing him. She wanted him to do something that demonstrated his feelings for her. But he thought that was ridiculous.

Hadn't she heard him that night on the bridge? Was she blind to his attraction to her? No one sane person put up with the way she treated him unless love was involved. But as he saw her shoulders lower slightly as she opened the diner door, he caved in.

"You know, the sun will be rising soon… and I know how to get on Luke's roof."

Rory turned back to face him, a large smile on her face. "Okay."

After retrieving some blankets and pillows from the apartment's linen closet, the two climbed a set of dusty stairs that lead to the roof of Luke' diner.

"Did you used to come here a lot? When you used to live in Stars Hollow?"

"Yeah. I liked to think up here."

"It's nice."

Jess handed Rory a few blankets, and she stared at them in surprise. "Why so many?"

"Well, I don't know if you remember, but it was raining earlier," Jess replied sarcastically. Rory simply stuck out her tongue and the two settled down on the roof, watching the small ball of light on the horizon slowly rise. Jess was pleased to see that Rory lay closer than he thought she would, their arms barely touching.

"Hey Jess?" she asked sleepily, sinking into the comfortable blankets. Her eyes felt heavy, but she didn't want to miss the beautiful vision before her. She wondered why she'd never done this before, but neither Dean nor Logan seemed like the type to watch sunrises or sunsets. _Of course, neither did Jess_, she thought with amusement as her eyes began to close.

"Yeah?"

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Her question caught him off guard and he watched Rory for a moment, taking in her appearance. She was snuggled into the blankets, blue eyes barely open. Her hair was wild, having dried in a funky shape from not being brushed. But somehow, she still managed to look pretty.

"I guess I want to be someone who can be trusted. Someone who can be loved."

She quietly giggled. "That's not what I meant. But it'll do. I want to be like that too."

"You are already," he responded softly.

"I was maybe… but not anymore. Jess?"

"Yeah, Rory?"

"Do you think we'll make it work this time?"

His heart leapt at her words. It wasn't an actual statement in writing or anything, but it was good enough for now. "I promise you we will," he wholeheartedly said. If she was willing to give him the chance, he was willing to give the relationship his all. He was willing to be all in, if that's what it took to make it work. "Rory?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you're broken up with Logan."

She flashed him a sleepy smile before replying. "So am I. I know I shouldn't be, but I am. It feels… good. I almost feel like _me_ again."

"Rory?"

"Yeah?" she asked, her voice even fainter than before. She snuggled closer to him, and he felt her warmth emanating though the blankets.

"I'm willing to wait."

He watched as she smiled and closed her eyes all the way. "I know. But you don't have to."

Jess continued to watch her sleep, smiling as she began to snore. Pressing a quick kiss to her forehead, he pulled out his yellow writing pad and pencil. Poising his pen, he began writing in the rising summer light.

A/N: Well, I decided to update tonight at the request of a reviewer who was kind enough to IM me:) I know the story is moving slow, but this is how I want to do it. I want them to be friends first, though I'm throwing in a small romantic moment to encourage you all to not lose hope!

Oh, and I abandoned the 80's theme. I got bored of listening to it so often, trying to find lyrics.

I'm planning on changing the title of the story – either Learning to Fly (Tom Petty) or God Only Knows (Beach Boys/Mandy Moore). Let me know which song you think fits best!


	15. Chapter 15: Unwelcome Visitors

I think this is my longest chapter yet, and sadly, it comes bearing bad news. My computer contracted a virus last night, so until my beloved laptop received treatment (A.K.A. my step-dad fixes it), I do not know how often I will be able to update. I currently writing on safe mode with Internet, but it's killing my eyes since I'm using a word document 50 of the normal size. Oy vay!

This news is particularly sad, as this chapter contains my first "cliffie" as the lingo says. Anyway, in order to rectify the situation as much as I could, I added a few more sequences that were going to occur in the next chapter to tide you over. I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 15 – Unwelcome Visitors

When Lorelai woke up the next morning, she was surprised to see that Rory was not in her bed. Trying her best not to panic, she scoured the room for any sort of note. Once she found nothing, she abandoned her quest to remain calm and instead searched the house, yelling Rory's name as she rushed from room to room. After several hysterical phone calls to Rory's off cell phone, she decided that she needed a cup of coffee to collect herself. Reaching for the pot, an attached bright pink Hello Kitty note caught her eye and she sighed in relief.

_Mom,_

_I went to Jess. I'll fill you in on the details later. Go to work, you'll feel better! _

_Love, _

_Rory_

Mentally reminding herself to leave Rory a message telling her not to listen to the several frantic messages she had left before, Lorelai sat at the kitchen table and quietly sipped her coffee. It tasted bitter compared to Luke's, but she knew that she couldn't have his coffee right now. He was gone and had been for five whole days. Lorelai knew it was dramatic, but these five days had felt like forever. She knew the time apart was necessary to start over again, but she missed him desperately.

Rory had done her best to entertain her in order to keep her mind off Luke's departure and her impending visit to Christopher. However, it hadn't been enough. Every second she was alone, Luke's hurt face filled her mind and she thought of the terrible things that had happened in the last six months. And the thought of her visit to Christopher caused knots in her stomach. She knew that his reaction, no matter what it was, would not be good.

Luke's face filled her thoughts again, and she reminded herself of why the time spent apart between her and Luke was so important. Both of them needed time to think so that they wouldn't make the same mistakes again. _That's if he takes you back_, she worriedly told herself for the billionth time since she'd slept with Christopher. She knew some mistakes in a relationship were impossible to repair. She just hoped that this wasn't one of them.

Sighing, Lorelai pushed herself up from the table, ignoring the protests of her tired body. She had to get ready for work. Rory was right. She'd feel better once she actually forced herself to go. Furthermore, she hadn't showed up at the Dragonfly several days, which was unlike her. She had told Sookie and Michel that it was Rory's return to town, but mostly she just didn't want to face anyone when she was feeling so alone and miserable.

But today she would have to go back. Sadly, the world didn't stop just because she and Luke Danes were struggling to make things work. _Mine certainly does_, she thought dryly, _but the rest of the world didn't follow suit_. It was time to face the music, or in this case, Sookie and Michel.

Arriving at the inn an hour later, Lorelai was greeted by an extremely fretful Sookie. "You're here! How are you? Are you okay? What's going on? Where have you been?" she fired the barrage of questions one after another, engulfing Lorelai in a close hug.

"I'm… surviving. Maybe not Gloria Gaynor surviving, but I'm okay," she replied weakly. For some reason, concerned questions and warm hugs made her want to sob, so she quickly pulled away. "How has everything been he—"

"Oh look, someone has finally decided to grace us with her presence. Gee, I feel so lucky. It's like seeing the Queen," a snooty French voice interrupted.

Smiling, Lorelai turned to face Michel, who was wearing a rather distinct scowl on his face. However, he didn't fool her for a second. He had missed her, even if it was only because no one else's retorts were as good as hers.

"Yes, well even the Queen has to face her subjects eventually. Of course, that part is in the fine print, but what can you do?" she returned with a shrug, feeling a little like her old self again.

He shot her a faint but real smile, and the two traded insults as Sookie ushered them into the kitchen. Upon entering Sookie's domain, Lorelai noticed that something felt and looked different.

"What's going on in here? I feel like I've walked into vegan heaven, which, let me tell you, is my personal version of hell."

Sookie's face turned red, and Michel sighed elaborately. "Oh please. Don't get her started. We'll miss Rory's graduation at her pace."

Ignoring Michel's jab, Sookie loudly launched into her story. "Do you remember that group of vegetarians that ate here a while back? The ones I had to prepare the special menu for? Well, I guess they _did_ recommend my food to their friends, just like I said they—"

"And there she goes again. I'm going to go make myself useful since this _is_ a job. Perhaps you two should do the same!" He clapped his hands together with sarcastic glee and quickly exited the kitchen.

Lorelai and Sookie smiled at each other as they watched Michel's departing figure. "It's good to be back," Lorelai announced more cheerfully than she was really feeling.

"It's good to have you back. How are things?" she asked delicately, glancing around to see who was listening. However, the kitchen was surprisingly empty.

"Things are complicated. Really complicated."

"Yeah, that's what you said on the phone when you called earlier. What happened?"

"Well, about a week ago, I asked Luke to elope with me."

"Oh, how romantic," Sookie cried gleefully. "Have you been on your honeymoon then?"

"No, I haven't been. And I'm glad you think so, but Saint Valentine didn't agree. I demanded that it was now or never. He felt like I was rushing. So I walked away, thinking that it was over."

"Oh my god! What happened next? Are you and Luke broken up then?"

"I'm not sure. That night I made a really big mistake." The tone of Lorelai's voice must have warned Sookie, because she suddenly wore a look of foreboding and intense disappointment.

"Lorelai, you didn't!" she cried.

Surprised, Lorelai responded, "Well, that depends on what you think I did."

"Did you go to Christopher?"

Lorelai suddenly felt very transparent, which made her feel sick to her stomach. Was it so obvious that she ran to Christopher whenever anything with someone else went wrong? Would everyone know the instant she admitted that she made a mistake that she had slept with Rory's father?

A lie rested at the tip of her tongue; it would be so easy to indignantly cry "of course not" and then berate Sookie for even imaging such a scenario. She could even see herself doing it while Sookie's apologetic face hovered in the background. But she couldn't do that. Sookie was her best friend and she deserved to know the truth. _And what type of person she'd befriended, _she noted unhappily.

"Yes," she whispered, hating herself. She stared impassively at the ground, unable to look at Sookie's face, knowing the negative emotions it would wear: sadness, disappointment, and frustration. Sookie had always ardently supported her and Luke's union; she'd known how long Luke had been waiting for it to happen. And now she's gone and messed it up, just like she'd done with Max.

"Oh Lorelai." Sookie's voice sounded extremely neutral given the circumstances, but Lorelai could detect the underlying sorrow and it ate away at her. Miserably, she wondered if all her choices in life would result in the disappointment or pain of someone important to her. Would she ever make a choice that made both herself and the people who mattered to her happy?

Raising her eyes, Lorelai watched as her best friend began pacing in front of the stove. Finally, she halted and stirred something that Lorelai assumed was a soup or sauce. She could tell that Sookie was examining the situation, rolling it over in her mind before she made any other response. After a moment, Sookie asked carefully, "Is that why Luke is gone?"

"Yes, he's gone fishing. He needed time to think."

"So you told him," Sookie said, her eyes shifting to Lorelai.

"Yes."

Sookie paused and Lorelai, knowing what question would follow, braced herself.

"How could you do this to Luke?"

The question was not foreign to her; she'd spent every single second since she'd awoken naked in Christopher's bed with it reverberating through her head. But hearing it issued from her best friend's mouth was a painful experience on another plane entirely.

No matter how hard Sookie tried to hide her emotions, this question fully demonstrated the disappointment and anger that she was feeling. And it made all the pain Lorelai had felt up until now seem like child's play. Suddenly, she was painfully aware of how her choices impacted other people. Before, she was only able to see their bearing on herself and her life, but Sookie's sad eyes made her quickly rethink that assumption.

Answering honestly, Lorelai said, "I don't know. But I feel horrible. I really do, Sookie. I hurt Luke beyond all reason. You should have seen his reaction. I'd never seen him so miserable in my life. And it kills me to know that I did that to him! But I can't take it back now! I want to, I do, but I can't! I'm not Michael J. Fox! And I don't know Christopher Lloyd!"

Sookie looked surprised at her outburst, but only comfortingly nodded. "He'll forgive you," she said soothingly. Lorelai knew that Sookie was trying to play the role of supportive best friend, even if it was killing her.

Lorelai sighed. "But what if he doesn't? What if he comes back and realizes he can't be with me after this?"

"Then you move on." Sookie's voice had become slightly colder, but Lorelai chose to ignore it.

"But I don't want to move on. Luke's the one, I know he is."

Sookie's eyes looked up at Lorelai doubtfully, as if asking 'how could you sleep with Christopher then?'. It broke her heart to see her best friend staring at her like that, but she knew that she had earned that disbelieving look. She'd ripped out the heart of the man she loved, stomped on it, and then flung it in his face for good measure. She deserved any anger that came her way as a result of her actions.

The two stood in an uncomfortable silence, Lorelai staring at the ground morosely while Sookie continued to shuffle around the kitchen, cooking. Lorelai could tell that Sookie was thinking very hard, and she wanted to know very badly what exactly what running through her head. She wondered if Sookie was rethinking their friendship, now that she'd seen just how horrible Lorelai could treat a person. She could only hope not. She needed to Sookie to be her rock.

"Lorelai, there is a man here to see you," Michel announced as he strode into the kitchen, unwittingly breaking the strange silence that had fallen between the two friends.

"Who is it?"

"I don't know. I am not your secretary, nor do I ever intend to be." He left as quickly as he had come, but Lorelai was glad for the distraction.

"Well, I better find out who is here to see me," she said awkwardly, waiting for some indication from Sookie that they would talk and fix things later. But her hopes were in vain, for she continued to move around the room in thought, vaguely nodding in Lorelai's direction.

Fleeing the kitchen, Lorelai inwardly thanked whomever it was that had shown up. That was, until she saw Christopher standing in reception area, his back facing her.

Clenching her fists, she briskly walked up to him and tapped his shoulder. "Christopher," she hissed. "What are you doing here?"

He turned in surprise, clearly not expecting her to approach him in anger. "Why haven't you answered my calls? I had to come here just to get a hold of you. You come to my house, you sleep with me, and you sneak out the minute my back is turned. Did you really think I wouldn't want to talk about it?"

A few startled guests began staring at the pair, eagerly listening. Lorelai grabbed Christopher's arm and dragged him into an empty pantry.

"What are you doing here?" she asked again, unable to mask the anger in her voice. Seeing him was like a slap in the face, for each time she looked at him she recalled Luke's devastation at her confession. She had potentially ruined things with Luke forever, and this was her accomplice.

"I told you! I haven't been able to get a hold of you since that night. You haven't answered your cell or home phone. What's going on between us?"

"Nothing! Nothing is going on between us. I'm with Luke," she replied resolutely.

He stared at her, his face rapidly turning white. "But you slept with me, Lorelai. Doesn't that mean anything? How can you be with Luke if you had sex with me?"

"I was hurt and lonely. Frankly, I think you took advantage of that fact that I was so heartbroken!"

"Hey! You kissed ME! Not the other way around!"

"Oh please," she scoffed, anger rapidly rising in her chest. "How many drinks did I have, Christopher? How many shots were you eagerly pouring me?"

"I only wanted to help you feel better!" he shouted, his white face swiftly changing to bright shade of red.

"Well, congratulations! You only helped me make the biggest mistake of my life! I hope you're proud!" she spat.

"Is that the only role I'm ever going to get in your life, Lorelai? Your big mistake?" he screamed back.

Lorelai was sure her coworkers and the guests could hear them clearly, but she couldn't muster the concern to care anymore. She was too focused on letting Christopher know just how much damage he had done.

"Yes! The only thing you and I ever did right was create Rory! That's it! All of the other stuff was just a mistake! A mistake that I keep making over and over again because apparently I don't learn. But trust me buddy, I've learned my lesson this time. It's over!"

"What's over? There's nothing to be over because you and I have never even gotten it together! I should have known, the minute you uttered his name while we were making love. I should have just stopped everything right there. I was a damned fool to think that you and I could ever make this work." He stormed past her, and Lorelai felt tears rapidly pool in her eyes.

A few minutes later, a voice quietly murmured her name and enveloped her in a gentle hug. Crumbling in Sookie's arms, Lorelai cried her heart out, wondering how a relationship that had once seemed so rewarding had been reduced to nothing in only a week.

---

When Rory had woken up that morning, she had been surprised to find herself lying in Luke's bed. But as she recalled the events of the night before, she smiled softly to herself. She and Jess were really going to do this.

As she remembered her desire to resolve any lingering issues regarding her and Logan before anything between her and Jess occurred, Rory searched the apartment for her jacket. Digging her cell phone out of the jacket pocket, she pressed the number three button on the phone, reminding herself to replace Logan's number with Jess's when she had the chance.

The phone rang once, and then the answering machine picked up. She had to admit she was a little surprised. After his frantic and obsessive calling, she'd assumed that he'd answer her call on the first ring. Waiting for the familiar message, she recalled the time he'd made it but quickly shoved the memory from her mind.

"_Hi, this is Logan Huntzburger's cell phone. If you are my father, someone else from my family, or any one who expects me to be responsible, I am currently working very hard right now and cannot come to the phone. If you are Rory, Colin, Finn, or any of my friends, I'm probably hung over so come over with some aspirin. Leave a message at the beep."_

Bracing herself, Rory quickly said, "Hi Logan. It's Rory. Um, we need to talk. But I'm sure you knew that… well, call me. You know, so we can talk. Bye." Hanging up the phone, she thought of how stupid she'd sounded but decided to forget about it. It didn't matter anymore anyway.

She glanced at the kitchen table, where a note, a relatively warm cup of coffee, and a few donuts lay. Smiling, she picked up the note.

_R,_

_Hey, I had to run the diner and thought you might be more comfortable in here. Come down when you're ready. _

_-J_

_P.S. You might want to brush your hair before you do though. You look terrible. _

She stifled a laugh and moved toward the bathroom in order to see how bad the damage was. Looking into the mirror, she groaned loudly. Jess was right. She did look terrible. Rummaging through the drawer for a brush, Rory's fingers grasped a smooth square piece of paper. Curiously, she pulled the paper out of the drawer, revealing a picture.

She was surprised to see it was a picture of her, being held up by her mother and Luke. It was pretty old, she surmised, as she herself was sporting a tutu, long pigtails, and crooked teeth. Luke appeared as he always did, wearing the blue hat Lorelai had give him and a blue flannel, though he looked more clean shaven and had less lines under his eyes. Her mother was dressed slightly less stylish than she did now, but she still looked pretty good. All of three of them wore bright smiles.

Gently caressing the picture, Rory didn't hear the apartment door creak as someone opened it.

"Hey, what you got there?" Jess asked curiously as he pushed the bathroom door open, interrupting Rory's fond childhood memories involving Luke. Shyly, she handed Jess the picture.

Jess quickly held his surprise as he looked at the picture. It featured an adorable child Rory, and a younger looking version of both Luke and Lorelai. Suppressing his jealousy, he inquired as to where she had found it.

"It was hidden in the back of this drawer," she said triumphantly, pointing to the drawer in question.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "And why were you going through Luke's bathroom drawers?"

She blushed and swatted at him. "I needed a brush for my terrible hair," she retorted as she followed him into the kitchen.

"And how!" he joked. He hadn't slept yet and felt incredibly tired, but he'd needed to wait until Lane showed up for her shift in order to leave. After his encounter with Liz and then Rory, he'd felt a stroke of inspiration and had spent the entire morning until the diner opened scribbling several pages for his new book. But now, all he wanted was to crash.

"Hey!" she cried as she picked up a donut and promptly demolished it. He watched her with morbid fascination; her ability to consume mass amounts of food continued to amaze and horrify him. "So what do you want to do today?" she asked. He was surprised she could even talk; donut crumbles were falling out of her mouth.

"Uh, I am going to sleep. I don't know what you are going to do," he replied with a smirk.

She glanced at him in surprise. "You didn't sleep last night?"

"No, but you sure did. You snored too," he joked with frustration, wishing he were asleep already.

"Wow, you sure are friendly in the morning," she muttered.

"I just need to sleep," he said, rubbing his eyes and glancing at the bed longingly.

"Oh, okay…" she suddenly felt as though she was an unwelcome visitor. Last night had seemed so perfect, but now she was unsure of where they stood. Were they going out? She'd felt his light kiss the night before but he didn't know she knew. Shaking her head, she approached the door.

"Hey, hey, hey," Jess said, rushing over to her. "This isn't something you should worry about. I'm just tired," he reassured her.

With a smile on her face, Rory moved forward to hug him but he surprised her with a tender kiss on the lips. Melting into his arms, the kiss quickly evolved into a passionate embrace that caused them to stumble over chairs and into walls as they moved across the room. Falling back on the bed, Rory felt Jess's weight press against her as he fervently placed delicious kisses along her neck. It felt incredible, and she laid still, drinking in all of the sensations he was causing in her body. He shifted his lips toward her face and pressed them against her own, and Rory avidly kissed him back, fighting to control her overwhelming feelings. _It never felt this good with Logan, even in the beginning_, she thought, and suddenly her passion came crashing down.

The thought of Logan brought forth his face, causing guilt to form in the pit of her stomach. She tried to focus on Jess's kisses but the image of his face only grew stronger and the guilt more intense. Silently sighing, she forced herself to say, "Jess, stop. Please."

He pulled his lips away from hers, and Rory sighed regretfully. Staring at her with intense brown eyes, he asked, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing… I just, I want to tie up some lose ends before—" she paused awkwardly, feeling like a ten year old afraid say the word sex. Finally, she settled on gesturing toward the two of them and saying, "this. And you didn't think it was going to happen here, did you? This is Luke's apartment."

He nodded thoughtfully, but she could tell he was still concerned. She watched him silently until a crease in his forehead caused her to question, "What?"

Smirking, he answered, "Déjà vu."

"Oh god," Rory mumbled as she recalled the night of Kyle's party.

"Did I ever apologize to you about that?" Jess asked quietly.

"I don't know, but you don't have to. That was so long ago. Really Jess, don't bother."

"I'm sorry."

Placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder, she smiled. "I told you, don't bother. Anyway, I'm going to go the bookstore today. Andrew said he'd hire me for the summer again."

"You're the regular?" Jess asked, throwing an incredulous glance her way.

"Excuse me?"

"I asked Andrew if he needed help running the store for the summer, and he said only if his 'regular' didn't come through."

"Ha!" Rory stuck her tongue out and Jess groaned loudly. "Well, you should get some sleep. Once I handle some things, I think you might want all of your energy…" she let her words linger in the air and winked suggestively.

Instead of replying, Jess closed his eyes and sunk into the bed. She walked toward the door, and as she was exiting, she heard him call, "I'd recommend a nap this afternoon, Gilmore."

Laughing, Rory made her way to the bookstore, dreaming about Jess.

---

Pulling up to the house, Lorelai sighed in relief. She'd spent almost an hour and a half sobbing in the pantry, while Sookie soothingly whispered words of comfort. Michel had said nothing when he's caught the two of them in the pantry, which had been a surprise. However, the bigger surprise was when he'd returned a few minutes later with some coffee and a large chocolate bar, both of which Lorelai had consumed at Sookie's command.

After she'd finally finished crying, she'd collected her emotions and run the inn as though nothing had happened. Neither Sookie or Michel acted differently, but almost all of the guests and other workers had come up and asked if she was okay. She'd simply plastered a fake smile on her face and said that everything was fine and she was sorry if she had disturbed anyone.

Lost in her thoughts, Lorelai didn't notice the solitary figure sitting on the porch steps until she'd removed all of her things from her car.

Staring in surprise, she finally asked, "What are you doing here?"

Logan stood up to greet her. "I'm here to see Rory, of course."

Staring at him, Lorelai felt very angry, almost angrier than she'd felt when she'd seen Christopher at the inn. He had the audacity to stand on her porch, wanting to speak to Rory, after he'd unceremoniously dumped her like that? Rory had spent days after the break-up miserable, despite her budding relationship with Jess, and Lorelai had been the one to comfort her.

"God, what is it with today? Was there a memo that I missed? Monday is unwelcome visitors day in Stars Hollow! All ex-boyfriends or other unwanted members of society, please come visit. Are you hiding President Bush under your jacket? How about Gary Ridgeway? And I thought I was just seeing things when I saw Paris Hilton at the post office," she ranted.

Logan didn't respond to her sarcasm and instead watched her warily.

"Well, if Rory's not at the house, I don't know where she is."

"She's probably with Jess, isn't he?"

"Even if she is, that's none of your business. At least, not anymore." She crossed the lawn and brushed past him, jabbing her key angrily into the door.

"Look, I just need to talk to her. What I did was a huge mistake and I need to tell her."

"Yeah, you seem to make a lot of those. You and I should start a club," she said as she stepped through the front door.

Ignoring her comments, Logan simply said, "Can you tell me where to find her?"

"Try the diner. But don't be surprised if Rory isn't sobbing her heart out over you." She slammed the door in his face.

A/N: For any Bush supporters, I'm sorry if I offended you with the Bush comment. However, I feel that I am perfectly in line, as Lorelai has made a jab at the President on the show. Plus, I don't like him and it's my story. :) So ha. (Maturity is my strong point, as I'm sure you can tell.) The same goes for any Paris Hilton supporters.

Anyway, I hope you all like what I've done here. I didn't want to ignore the Christopher situation completely because that's not in character for him. He'll be coming back, though never as a romantic prospective for Lorelai. And I didn't want to take Logan out of the picture immediately because that just didn't seem realistic to me.

And I know I had a lot of sappy moments, but what can I say? I'm a sappy person!


	16. Chapter 16: Secrets Revealed

A/N: I'm sorry to say that this latest installment is not particularly long or impressive. My muse (who somehow simultaneously resembles Keanu Reeves, Jake Gyenhaal, Milo Ventimilia, and Ricky Ullman though one more than other depending on my mood) has been rather difficult lately. He's been completely unresponsive despite my bribes, and this poor chapter is the result. I couldn't even come up with a decent title, thus demonstrating just how problematic his indifference is! Anyway, enjoy as best you can!

Chapter 16 – Secrets Revealed

After a few hours of managing the Stars Hollow bookstore, Rory headed for the diner for food and a good place to continue working on her book review for WIT. The bookstore had been deathly quiet, so she'd just started writing the review there. _It is a great atmosphere for writing_, she decided, _surrounded by all of those amazing authors_. It made her feel inspired and the words had come easier than ever to her.

However, she still wanted to give it a few more once-overs before sending it off to her editor and the militant Paris, who had left a rather sharp message on her cell phone stating that the review would be due in three days.

After a great deal of thought, Rory had chosen Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. It was often considered a classic, just as Paris had requested, and written by a very reputable author among literature wrote it. _Besides, _she thought with a faint smile playing on her lips, _it makes me think of Jess now. _Somehow, starting with that novel just seemed appropriate on all accounts.

There was a slight bounce in her step as she walked towards the diner. She felt a little ridiculous, but the persistent smile on her face was genuine. Throughout the day, several people had commented on it, but Rory had dismissed it as happiness for being home and seeing her mother. Most people had bought the story, though Miss Patty and Babette had winked in response.

For the hundredth time today, she marveled at what was happening. Only almost two weeks ago, she'd determined that she needed to change her life. And she was actually doing it. Logan might have been the one who'd broken things off, but she was moving on. She had two great jobs that pertained to her interest and eventual career goals, she was residing in the town that she loved with the people she loved, and she was finally making things work with the only person who'd ever really inspired her.

A nagging voice wondered if she was moving too fast, but Rory wrote it off. She was happy and that was all the mattered. Well, mostly happy. Worries of pace aside, she was still concerned about the fact that Logan still hadn't called her back. In her arrogance she'd assumed he would call back immediately. And now that he'd not returned any of her several calls and messages, Rory wondered what was going on. She knew he had responsibilities in London, but that hadn't stopped him from making countless calls to her cell phone a day, had it?

Setting aside her worries, Rory increased her walk to the diner, imagining a passionate welcome kiss from Jess. _That will certainly stir up some excitement in Stars Hollow_, she thought amusedly.

Once in viewing range of the diner, Rory squinted in order to make out Jess's familiar form. He was standing behind the counter and appeared to be heatedly talking to someone. As she strained to make out the other person, her heart stopped when she made a positive identification. She'd recognize that blonde hair and face anywhere. Logan was in Stars Hollow.

As she stared through the diner window in horror, her cell phone began to ring. It startled her, but she began mechanically searching for it as she watched Jess and Logan trade words with somewhat similar scowls perched on their faces.

She sighed. In no way, shape, or form could this meeting between them be considered a good thing, especially given recent developments. Glancing at the cell phone screen, she answered, "Mom?"

"Hey babe. I have some bad news."

"I'm feeling psychic right now. You're going to say that Logan is in Stars Hollow," Rory answered dully, continuing to watch. Jess had moved away from the counter and was serving diner patrons, with an angry Logan trailing him.

"You've seen him already?"

"I'm watching him and Jess argue through the diner window."

"Oh sweetie. You better get in there… we'll have to start eating at Al's again if it gets wrecked."

Rory said goodbye, snapping the cell phone closed with a loud clap. She closely observed Logan and realized that his face was unnaturally flushed, indicating he'd had a few drinks. _Not good, not good,_ Rory thought worriedly. Jess appeared to be keeping his cool, but Rory knew he could only handle so much before Logan finally said something that Jess couldn't ignore.

There was only one thing to do, and that was to break up the fight before it started. She willed her feet to enter the diner and put a stop to what could end up as a horrible repeat of Kyle's party—_god, that night just keeps coming up_, she mused—but watching Jess maintain his cool for so long was a strange act to witness. He acted though he was immune to Logan's words, which, judging by the looks on the other patrons' faces, were pretty terrible.

But then Logan said something, and Jess halted mid-step. All of the customers looked like they were gasping, and she tensed. She wasn't sure what Logan had said to make Jess's face look so angry, but she was almost positive it had something to do with her.

Color rushed into Jess's face and he roughly grabbed Logan by the arm and hauled him outside. "Go," he muttered curtly, moving to return to the diner. But he paused when he recognized her standing there, watching them intently.

Logan, on the other hand, had not seen her and continued to talk. "And here's the kicker, Jack. She lost her virginity to that floppy-haired freak after she refused to run away with you. Bet she never told you that!" Logan crowed triumphantly, swaying where he stood.

Frozen, Rory watched in horror as Jess turned his eyes toward her. She nodded miserably, and his face visibly hardened. But he said nothing to her. Instead, he glanced coldly at Logan and said, "Get out of here."

Logan ignored him, for he had finally noticed Rory standing close by. He stumbled towards her, crying her name. "Ace! I need to talk to you! Rory!"

She stared at him in disgust. How could she have ever found this man attractive? Sure, he was still as handsome as ever, but that was where it ended. She'd always thought they had so much in common, but it was clear that their interests were very different. Logan was always waiting for the next drink or party, she wanted to always be waiting for the next big story. She began to walk away, but stopped when he cried, "Ace, I love you!"

Only a week ago she'd thought those were the perfect words. She'd struggled for what to say as he departed for London, and he'd told her exactly what she'd wanted to hear. But now, hearing Logan issue those words felt fake and forced. He wasn't saying them because he truly loved her—though maybe he thought he did—he was saying them because he thought they would make her stay. And he didn't want her to go because he didn't want to be the one who lost. But it didn't matter what he wanted anymore, because this was something she had to do for herself. She finally knew what a genuine 'I love you' sounded and felt like, and there was no way she was going to back to the phony one.

"Go to a hotel, Logan. And sober up. We need to talk in the morning." She promptly turned around, leaving him standing in shock in front of the diner.

But his shock didn't last long, as she'd only gone a few feet before he shouted, "Why wait till morning? Why not dump me now, Ace? So you can finally run away with Josh?"

She faced him again, and her eyes were like ice. "Because I want you in a condition to actually understand just how over it is between us. And for the last time, his name is Jess, not Jack, Josh, or any other four-letter 'J' name you've come up with."

"It'll never be like it was with me!" Logan cried feebly.

Rory actually laughed; it was cruel, but she was so angry she could hardly see straight. "No, it won't. It'll be better."

She glanced at the diner, hoping to go in and talk to Jess about what had happened. But one look at his enormous scowl and rigid stance stopped her in her tracks. He was in no mood to talk to her or anyone else. She could only hope whatever damage Logan had done wasn't irreparable.

She began walking away, lost in her thoughts when she heard Logan's voice once more. "Rory? I don't know how to get back to my hotel." His voice reminded her of a child's and she sighed. _At least this is the last time I have to deal with a drunken Logan,_ she thought grimly. He was slumped over on the ground and looked dangerously close to losing any food he had consumed in the last six hours.

Propping him up on her shoulder, Rory felt her knees buckle slightly under his weight. Logan made no effort to help her bolster him up, and she felt irritable about it until she noticed how surprisingly still he was. Glancing at his face, Rory scrunched her face in annoyance. He'd passed out.

She swung his other arm onto her other shoulder, but the motion almost caused her to fall over completely until a pair of strong hands pushed her upright. She looked into Jess's angry eyes, trying to silently communicate her thanks, but he ignored her. He placed his own shoulder under Logan's limp arm, propping him up easily. "Let's go," he muttered, avoiding her eyes.

It was by far the most awkward experience of her life, and she felt like she was qualified to judge. They moved in complete silence, dragging Logan's unconscious body to one of the local hotels. Jess wasn't particularly careful, letting Logan's feet hit several rocks and curbs on the way, but Rory knew it was pointless to say anything.

When they finally arrived at Logan's hotel room, Jess let Logan's body fall on the ground with a loud thump. She stifled her angry groan and began moving Logan to the bed, albeit slowly. As she did so, she could feel Jess's eyes drilling holes in the back of her head. Once Logan was finally loudly snoring in his bed with a large glass on water on the bedside, Rory turned around to face Jess. Except that he was gone.

"Jess! Jess!" Rory cried, chasing him out of the hotel. In the lobby, she saw Jess's disappearing back on the horizon. Mustering all of the energy she possessed, she sprinted toward him, crying his name. "Jess! Jess! Jess!"

He stopped, slowly wheeling around on his heels to face her. When she reached him, her lung felt like it was going to explode. She spent several minutes catching her breath, wheezing loudly while Jess stood in front of her with his hands jammed into his leather jacket pockets.

"Jess…" she finally panted out.

"Don't," he said coldly, and Rory resisted the instinct to shiver at his words. He walked away, and she forlornly wondered if there would ever be a time where the image of his retreating back wouldn't characterize their relationship.

---

Watching Breakfast at Tiffany's alone for the tenth time in the last six months, Lorelai vaguely wondered how the Jess and Logan situation had worked out. Her and Rory hadn't spent as much time together as she'd been hoping, but she didn't hold a grudge against Rory for finally making things work with someone she cared about. If Luke returned with a positive answer, she intended to spend every second of every single day making up for her mistake.

Snuggling into the couch, she watched Audrey Hepburn eat a pastry while gazing at the diamonds in the Tiffany's window. It made her stomach rumble, eve n though she'd just polished off an entire bag of popcorn, and she wondered if there were any good donuts left at the diner.

The ringing of the house line interrupted Lorelai's focus on the movie and she enthusiastically searched for it, hoping it was Rory with an update regarding the showdown between Logan and Jess.

"Yeah? Rory?"

"Do you always answer the phone with a guess?" a gruff voice asked, and Lorelai's heart leapt with joy. The sound of his low baritone sent shivers down her spine. If only he weren't a hundred miles away. And there wasn't a huge gaping hole in their relationship, caused by their combined errors in judgment.

"Luke?" she asked excitedly, jumping back onto the couch.

"You're a regular Miss Cleo."

"How are you? How's fishing? Catch any Jayne Mansfields?"

"Any what?" he asked confusedly.

"Never mind. How is fishing?"

"Quiet. Peaceful. I never remember how much I like to get away until I finally get away," he responded honestly, shifting on his feet as he stared at the starlit sky. The time away had given him clarity of mind, and while he was incredibly angry with her choice, he wanted to hear her voice, even if only for a little while.

"Yeah. So… why are you calling? Not to be rude or anything, you just don't usually call when you go on these trips."

"I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you," he replied quietly.

"In a good way?" she whispered softly.

"In a good way," he answered. "I have to go."

"Okay," she murmured, feeling lighter than she had hours before.

Settling back on the couch, she realized she'd sat down on the remote and fast-forwarded the movie. Hitting the play button, Holly Golightly declared, _"Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany's. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that'd make me feel like Tiffany's, then - then I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name!"_

Lorelai smiled. She'd found her Tiffany's. It was Luke's Diner and instead of jewelry, she had Luke. And no matter where he was now, eventually, he was coming home to her.

A/N: Yes, that's right. Rory and Jess are still not together. Originally, I planned on getting them together in this chapter but it didn't feel right (darn you, gorgeous muse!). At any rate, Rory and Jess's type of love is often typified by arguments and I want to stay true to that. In fact, their relationship often reminds me of the relationship shared by The Notebook's Allie and Noah. Hopefully Rory and Jess won't have to wait as long as they did though!


	17. Chapter 17: Luke Returns

Once again, I have to apologize to my readers. Not only are my updates far and few between, but I'm really struggling with moving the story along. Unfortunately, I recently started a job and any time I'm not working is spent sleep off my exhaustion. Sadly, this is not the ideal circumstance for creative story telling. I may end this story far earlier than planned, but we'll see.

Chapter 17 – Luke Returns

The remaining week and a half before Luke's return was hectic for the Gilmore girls. Both were juggling their commitments at work, emotions, and time with each other.

Most of Lorelai's time was spent organizing a tea party for an officious client at the Dragonfly Inn. Mrs. Baker—Lorelai was unsure of her first name since she was one of those people who insisted on being called Mrs. at all times—called numerous times throughout each day, resulting in a very frustrated staff.

Every time the phone rang, Michel shot Lorelai a loathing glare before answering it in his slightly phony voice. The entire situation had amused her for about two weeks, but now she'd reached breaking point. Most of the phone calls were only to confirm details that had been confirmed more than a few times already. It was infuriating and though Lorelai was used to this type of behavior (times spent with her mother came to mind whenever Mrs. Baker spoke), she was very much looking forward to the day that Mrs. Baker left her life forever.

Nevertheless, Lorelai knew she wasn't as frustrated as Sookie. When preliminary plans had been drawn up for the tea party, Mrs. Baker had requested a few proposals in order to select the perfect meal plan. In face of such a challenging client, Sookie had thrown herself into the project, spending many hours each day refining the various details. However, when presented, Mrs. Baker had shot down the several brilliant meal plans she had designed in favor of plain tomato soup and cheese sandwiches. Lorelai almost smiled at the memory of Sookie's rage; it had been, by far, the angriest she'd ever seen her at a client.

_With a girlish smile and fluttery voice, Mrs Baker said, "Oh, just imagine cute little sandwiches with darling little bowls of tomato soup. It'll be adorable. The girls will simply love it."_

_Sookie stormed into the kitchen with an anxious Lorelai trailing behind. "Cheese sandwiches? Tomato soup?" She shrieked. "I am a gourmet cook! I can make anything! And she wants cheese sandwiches and tomato soup? I could make her anything and she asks for **that?**"_

_Lorelai shrugged, watching Sookie hysterically dart around the kitchen. If the situation had involved anyone else, she would have taken some amusement from it, but Sookie looked seriously unhappy. "Hunny, this is a good thing. You can have your life back. You can focus on other things like your family… or even sleep."_

"_You don't understand!" Sookie wailed, and Lorelai was surprised to hear the despair in her voice. "That client was a challenge! She was somebody who wouldn't accept a dish with a fancy name and some well mixed herbs and spices. She could have pushed me to the next level in cooking, and instead, she chose a meal that would make a three year old happy! She chose a meal that even you could make!"_

_Lorelai refrained from commenting on the slight on her cooking skills, mostly because she knew it was true. _

_A tear trickled down Sookie's face, and Lorelai felt her heart wrench. "Aw, babe. C'mon now." She reached out for her best friend, intending to pull her into a hug, but Sookie began pacing the kitchen, muttering under her breath. _

_As Lorelai left the kitchen, she distinctly heard the words, "ugly", "pink", and "poodle," mixed between some coarser English words. _

The almost smile forming on Lorelai's face as she got caught up in the memory, a loud noise from upstairs brought her back to the present. She stood at the front desk, waiting for a scheduled pair of guests to arrive. Annoyed with their lateness, she tapped a pencil against the solid wood desk restlessly. Moments like this only served one purpose in her life now: memories and images of Luke came rushing forth, as well as the ball of nervousness regarding his return and ultimately, his decision about their future. .

In fact, as his return inched closer, Lorelai had became increasingly single minded. Any second her mind wasn't consumed with thoughts of the Inn and Mrs. Baker were devoted to his homecoming. Even her time with Rory had become eclipsed by her obsession; in lieu of their regular movie nights, the two spent their time acting out the potential scenarios to prepare Lorelai for the very worst. She was determined to accept his decision without reservation, even if one of the choices would break her heart.

Unfortunately, the practices had resulted in very little progress. Rory's acting skills left a lot to be desired so out of nerves Lorelai continually complained, impeding any improvement. And whenever Rory managed to act convincingly enough for Lorelai, the tears spilled from her eyes the minute 'Luke' rejected her.

"_Mom! If you can't stop crying when I act like him, how are you going to not cry when it's actually Luke?" Rory cried in exasperation. _

"_I don't know! All I can really do is pray that he can forgive me. God, what am I going to do if he says he can't be with me, Rory?" she sobbed, tears pouring down her face._

"_It's going to be okay," Rory replied quietly, hugging her tightly. _

"_How could I have done this?" she asked for the billionth time. _

Eventually Lorelai had managed to hold back her sobs as 'Luke' ended things, though she wasn't sure it would be enough when the real man of the hour came.

But she'd find out soon enough. He was due back today, and Lorelai had spent the entire morning just thinking about how it would feel to touch him again. That was, if he took her back. If not, well, she only hoped she could be strong enough not to cry and to accept his verdict. If not for herself and her pride, at least she hoped she could be enough for him.

The sound of the phone ringing interrupted her busy thoughts once more, and Lorelai silently groaned. Pasting on a fake smile, she picked up the phone and answered, "Good afternoon, Mrs. Baker. What can I do for you?"

The girly voice replied and Lorelai smirked for moment. "Well," she responded. "It was just a hunch."

---

While her mother was at work, Rory spent most of her time staring blankly at her computer screen, running her hands through her hair in frustration. She'd sent her first book review off earlier that week and had received several glowing evaluations, even from Paris. But her fear of being a one hit wonder combined with her fight with Jess resulted in a serious case of writer's block.

Every time she sat down to start the review, the only words she could get out were stifled and flat. And she wasn't even sure what book to pick. Her original choice had been The Fountainhead; it was uncommon but intellectually stimulating so it fit the requirements. Plus, she'd just read it recently so its main points and style were very clear in her mind.

But each time she thought of the book, her mind turned to thoughts of Jess, which only served to depress her immensely. The two hadn't talked since their 'fight', if one could call it that. _We would have had to actually talk to fight_, Rory thought morosely, glaring at her computer since the real Jess wasn't around.

She'd contemplating reaching out to him first, but she wanted to give him time to cool down. She'd never really put the actions of Jess asking her to run away and her sleeping with Dean together, but hearing Logan do so made her realize how conjoined they were. And she knew there was no denying how much that realization hurt Jess. She'd seen his eyes, and though she could only discern anger at the time, she knew that later that night, when she hadn't been around, the anger had graduated to pain and sadness.

The morning following Logan's disastrous visit to Stars Hollow and Luke's diner, Rory had gone to his hotel room for their final talk. She handed him some aspirin and then asked him to sit in the chair at the desk. He squinted at her—giving her the bizarre feeling of resembling fine print—mumbling about the time and his splitting headache. Ignoring his complaints, she immediately launched into the reasons their relationship was over.

"_Logan, there are so many reasons that you and I shouldn't be together. Firstly, we're very different people and we have different goals. And I want you to know that my decision has nothing with your stay in London. I just can't be the person you make me anymore," she said, crossing her arms over her chest defiantly._

"_The person I make you? Ace, you make you," he retorted, running a hand through his hair and focusing his accusing eyes on her. _

"_If that's true, I don't want a person in my life that makes me act like someone I don't know." _

_He scoffed at her, but the solemn look on her face stopped him. "Oh c'mon on Rory. We're good together. You're just going through a phase." _

"_No, I was going through a phase when I decided to be with you!" she snapped._

The conversation between them had continued in a similar fashion, though Logan became increasingly desperate as Rory staunchly stood by her decision. His voice had become sweet and cajoling, and he kept reminding her of the good times they'd shared. But it wasn't enough for her. She'd seen the real Logan and the person wasn't the type of person she wanted in her life.

Eventually there had been nothing left to say. She'd given him one last look, knowing that once she left it would be over. Surprisingly, this knowledge hadn't caused her as much pain as she'd been expecting In fact, as she walked away from Logan forever, Rory vaguely wondered what had taken her so long in the first place.

And now she was sitting in her childhood room at her computer desk, resisting the urge to bang her head against the hard wooden surface. The word document before her was blank, and she stared at the blinking line. She didn't want to admit it, but the reason she couldn't write was because her inspiration was gone. _Jess._

She glanced at the mirror in her room, surprised at her unattractive appearance and unhappy expression. _That's it, _she thought firmly. She wasn't going to sit around and mope. She'd learned this particular lesson the last time she and Jess had fought. Grabbing some clothing, Rory charged out the door toward the bathroom, determined to change her path.

An hour later, Rory stepped out onto the front porch. In typical Rory fashion, she'd spent the time alternating between her bold plan to seek Jess out and fix things and her old standby, which was to avoid him at all costs. But finally, the Gilmore in her had won out, and she marched all the way to the diner in order to maintain her focus.

Standing in front the diner door, Rory ordered herself to enter. It seemed she'd been standing in front of this door a lot these days, trying to muster the courage to set foot in the diner the lay behind it. She glanced through the window, hoping to catch at sight of him (and his attitude) but strangely, he was no where in sight. This emboldened her—the thought of a little time to gather her thoughts before encountering him was very attractive—so she swung the door open and entered in a would-be-casual manner. Per usual, the diner had only a few customers, and most of them were regulars.

Jess was still nowhere to be seen, but Lane was enthusiastically talking to Zach and Brian in the corner. Due to their hushed tones, she assumed they were discussing 'band' issues, mostly likely songs, especially after Lane only raised a hand in hello upon noticing Rory.

Settling at the front counter, Rory glanced sideways toward the stairs leading toward the apartment, hoping to see Jess magically appear. After a few minutes of waiting, she stood up with the intention to going upstairs, but Lane's voice interrupted her mission.

"Rory!" she cried, enveloping her in a hug. "How are you?" she whispered concernedly in Rory's ear.

Smiling slightly, she pulled away and replied, "Lane, we talked on the phone like a thousand times after it happened. I'm fine. I promise. "

The Korean girl nodded. "I know, I know. I just keep thinking about how I would feel, and then I feel really awful, and then I wonder how in the world you can be fine."

"Well, okay, maybe not totally fine."

"Still no luck with the review?" Lane responded sympathetically, though her eyes were focused on Zach and Brian. She was attempting to subtly gesture, and Rory glanced over her shoulder.

"Something going on?" she asked curiously as Zach and Brian began staring out the window, suspiciously whistling.

"I'm guessing that they're just writing songs isn't an acceptable answer?" Lane said sheepishly.

"You guess right."

"Well, everyone heard about Logan's big night in Stars Hollow and Zach and Brian were interested in hearing what happened so I told them since I was in the diner. I don't know if you knew that. Anyway, out the blue, Zach started writing a song. It was pretty good, actually, it was great, but then I realized… well, it was about what had happened between you, Jess, and Logan."

Laughing in disbelief, she sat back down, marveling at her incredibly strange life. Knowing her luck, Lane's band would become famous with that one song and everyone would know about one of the most unfortunate moments in her life. Maybe they wouldn't know it was specifically about her (though she was willing to bet most of Stars Hollow would).

"Look, I know it's not something you want publicized, but just listen to the song before you say no."

Nodding dazedly, Rory remembered the reason she was at the diner in the first place. "Hey, where is Jess? Is he on a break upstairs?"

"Actually, no. This morning he told me that he had a meeting with someone and then he took off. A Karen something."

A feeling of urgency overtook her previous feelings of confusion. "Karen? Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Why? Is Karen a publisher or something?"

"Something like that," she murmured, standing up once more.

The diner bell sounded and Rory glanced up hopefully, expecting to see Jess's familiar leather jacket and half scowl. Instead she saw another familiar get-up: a blue backwards cap and a flannel shirt.

Luke was finally back.


	18. Chapter 18: Changing

Dear Readers,

I cannot believe that I abandoned this story for so long, but my life took a few unexpected turns (as life tends to do) that kept me from writing. However, I am determined to finish this before school resumes (next Wednesday) so I am rapidly working on the few chapters I have left. Hopefully you can forgive me… I hope the update is sufficient!

-A terrible author

P.S. This chapter is Luke and Jess only and covers some of what has happened… the following chapter will pick up with where chapter 17 left off!

Chapter 18 – Changing

After leaving Rory standing in the middle of Stars Hollow crestfallen, Jess spent hours sitting in the gazebo, letting his jumbled thoughts roll around in his head. He wasn't sure why he was so livid with her for something that had taken place so long ago, but he couldn't stop the anger that was swelling under his skin.

Just the thought of Dean touching her made him want to beat the crap out of something, anything. He kept thinking about Dean's tall body covering her small frame, and his stomach lurched at the nauseating image. Next he pictured his stupid lips on her beautiful mouth, torturing him. He wasn't sure he could ever look at her without remembering that her first time was with Dean.

Every time he would kiss her, would he wonder if Dean's face was the face she imagined? Would she be comparing them? The thought of Rory even trying to compare his kissing, or worst, love-making skills, to the other men in her life made Jess's stomach drop.

The worst part of the entire situation was that _it_ had all happened after he'd poured his heart out to her. He'd offered her the only thing he had, himself and a life together, and she'd shot him down for Dean of all people. He supposed fate was ironic like that and wondered if Dean had been secretly pleased by his victory. Jess may have stolen her momentarily, but Dean had the last laugh. And Jess wanted to punch him for it.

He supposed he should have known that something had happened between them since he'd seen Dean at Yale that night, but he'd heard that Dean was married and had assumed that their meeting was innocent. The Rory he had known would have never slept with a married man, no matter how unhappy the marriage or how badly she desired to be with the man.

_At least, the Rory he knew_, he thought. _This Dean thing is just another indication that something strange was going on with her, even back then._ Sometimes he still found it difficult to match the seventeen-year-old Rory with the twenty-two-year-old Rory. They were almost like polar opposites; it was hard to believe they were both the same person, with only five years separating them.

He tried to steady his thoughts, move them toward anything that wasn't Rory and Dean, but the task felt impossible. Now he knew that she'd given Dean something that Jess had always assumed she'd share with him and the knowledge was slowly, but surely, killing him.

_Her slender legs wrapping around his body. His too big hands touching her all over… Rory murmuring into Dean's ears. "I love you."_

Hearing Rory (even if it was only his imagination) tell Dean the one thing that Jess wanted to hear from her lips made him jerk in frustration. He needed to get his mind off her, even if it was only temporary. Glancing around Stars Hollow, Jess wondered if a prank might be the thing to do the trick. But he couldn't think of anything worthy of he was feeling right now.

So he sat. For hours and hours, just letting his anger wash over him again and again. It almost made him feel stronger somehow, but it wasn't the type of strength he was interested in anymore. He didn't want to be the kid with a chip constantly on his shoulder; he was looking to be and have something more. _But tonight's events were definitely a step backward_, Jess had noted sardonically.

Following that night, Jess retreated inward for a while. He spent most of his time going through the motions at the diner while simultaneously trying to banish the image of Dean and Rory that haunted him.

This particular morning he was completing Logan's departure. He'd heard through the grapevine—A.K.A. Miss Patty and Babette—that Logan had fled Stars Hollow early the next morning, and he was glad for it. He wasn't sure which of Rory's ex-boyfriends he hated more, Logan or Dean. Right now neither was particularly high on his list and the image of him punching either of their faces was incredibly satisfying.

Stifling his violent thoughts, Jess turned his mind to Rory and her absence from his life. Like usual, she hadn't come into the diner since Logan's night in Stars Hollow. This wasn't surprising to him in the least though; he'd known she wouldn't show her face. She had never handled confrontation very well, especially when it came to him.

Several times he'd contemplated going to her to sort the whole thing out, but then he remembered everything she'd put him through and the uncertainty of their situation overwhelmed him.

When it came down to it, Jess wasn't sure all of the pain Rory put him through was worth it. Yes, he'd hurt her several times before, but this was starting to get ridiculous. Maybe this was a sign. Maybe it was time to cut his losses and get out while he still could.

The thought was tempting to Jess in some ways. Their past together sometimes felt insurmountable, as if they were constantly walking up hill to be together. And he'd tried so many different solutions to their problems, but nothing seemed to help.

But he knew that one of these days they would find a way to be together even if it took some time. Because as insurmountable as their circumstances sometimes seemed, Rory was something he'd never had before. And he wasn't willing to give up on that just yet. She was home and now that he'd finally realized how comforting 'home' could be, he was going to fight tooth and bone to keep it regardless of his doubts.

The irony of the situation brought a rare smile to his face. He'd traveled so many different places, and yet, he'd ached for her all the same. His love for her had not diminished in California, nor in New York or Philadelphia. That night at Truncheon Books, he'd told her they were what they were, but maybe this time they could change. If they could just grow up a little more and put their past behind them.

Sighing, Jess set aside his writing pad and climbed out of bed. Today, Rory would not be the foremost thought in his mind; today, he was going to meet Karen. His mother.

He was incredibly nervous, though he knew he would hide it well when meeting Karen. In fact, Jess had always marveled at his ability to hide his anxious feelings. The more nervous he was, the easier it was for him to hide it under a facade of indifference and anger. That was just the way he was and how he'd always been. And now, more than ever, he was certain this particular ability would be important in protecting himself. Perhaps it was strange, but he liked that the only people close to him were Rory and Luke. He wasn't much for close, personal relationships, and he intended to stay that way. This visit was purely for curiosity's sake. Karen may have been his biological mother, but that didn't change anything.

With that final thought in mind, Jess headed for the shower. It was time to do this.

---

Climbing into his truck and putting the car in drive, Luke threw a glance backwards toward the lake. It was a beautiful place, and it always seemed to bring him clarity of mind. Maybe someday, when the time was right, he would bring Lorelai here.

As he settled into the long drive, Luke let his mind drift. He'd pictured his reunion with Lorelai a thousand times already, but nothing he'd come up with so far had met his expectations. If they were going to do this, really do this, he wanted to do it right.

Conjuring up his favorite image of her—the stunning sight of Lorelai in her wedding dress—caused Luke to sigh. The gap between them had grown so much in the last six months, and he wasn't sure how he'd failed to notice it until it had exploded in his face.

He'd never considered himself a foolish man, but knowing just how far he and Lorelai had drifted made him reconsider. He'd spent eight years waiting for this wonderful woman to notice and love him back and had almost destroyed everything in a mere two years, mostly over a child he'd only known about for months.

Looking back on his selfishness regarding April, Luke felt ashamed. Being a parent wasn't about being cool and being loved—though Lorelai's relationship with Rory often made it appear that way—and he'd somehow forgotten that as he attempted to forge a relationship with April. He'd been so intent on gaining her favor that he'd never really focused on doing things that made him a father, like discipline or advice. Not that April ever seemed to need either, though there was the occasional time where he was able to dispense advice per her request. But those moments were far and few between.

It was strange, he reflected, finding out one had a daughter when she was already 12. Much of her personality and self had already been formed, and he sort of felt like he was more along for the ride than able to actually shape her the way that most parents did. The fact that Anna had taken that precious ability away from him burned him, but it was far too late to do anything about it now. Not that Anna hadn't done a stand up job of raising April as it was, but it would have been nice to have had a choice in being involved from the very beginning. Now April was reaching an age where parents, father or mother, were not cool, and he knew he only had a few more years before she'd shun him, whether intentionally or not.

Vaguely, he wondered if he would have done with Christopher had done, but immediately stopped that train of thought. The very thought of his name… Images of Lorelai with Christopher filled his mind, and he stubbornly pushed them aside. There was no way he and Lorelai would be able to heal if Luke couldn't forget and forgive her transgression.

Focusing his eyes and mind on the road, Luke realized that despite all of his thoughts about April and Anna, he'd forgotten one important part of his plan that included them. He had to make one crucial stop to visit Anna and April before returning to Lorelai. He was surprised he hadn't thought of it earlier, though his mind had been rather preoccupied during his trip with the various ways in he planned to kill Christopher if he ever saw him again.

Luke knew he had a battle in store for him. There were a lot of things that needed to be discussed between him, April, and Anna, both about their situation and Lorelai. And he had every intention of letting both girls know exactly how he felt. The last thing he was going to do was make the same mistake twice. Luke Danes might have been slow on the get up, but he certainly wasn't going to be a fool this time around.

---

Sitting in a diner that was remarkably similar to Luke's, Jess swirled the coffee cup in front of him in boredom. Karen was late, and he wondered how this spoke of her character. _Maybe she is a loser just like Jimmy_, Jess thought. _Wouldn't surprise me if she is, sure would explain my lot in life…_

A chime rang through the small diner, and Jess felt his body stiffen. He wasn't sure how, but he knew that when he finally raised his eyes, he would be looking into those of his mother's. A minute passed, and he sensed the person's hesitancy as she—assuming it was, and he knew it was—remained in the doorway. Breathing deeply, Jess forced his eyes upward and found himself staring into a pair of deep brown eyes that mirrored his exactly. Karen.

She began walking briskly toward him, though he noticed the shakiness of her step. She was, without a doubt, the exact opposite of Liz.

Her long, curly hair was dark brown, just like his, and pulled into a tight bun. She was tall in height and wore a dark blue suit paired with a black, leather briefcase. Jess wasn't sure of her age, but he could tell that she must not have been very old when she'd had him, as her face had very few lines. At his best guess, he'd put her around Lorelai's age, though probably some years older.

_A lawyer_, Jess marveled as she continued walking toward him in a rather professional manner. His birth mother was a lawyer. Or at least something along the corporate lines, as most people didn't dress in professional suits just for kicks, he noted.

She stopped at his table, and he silently gestured for her to sit. She sank into the booth, and Jess could feel her eyes surveyed him.

"Hi Jess," she murmured softly. "I'm Karen. Your…" she paused, and Jess watched as she gulped. "Your mother. Thank you for meeting with me."

He was surprised by the strange combination of crisp professionalism and anxiety in her voice. He wanted to say something to her to ease her discomfort, but the awkwardness of the situation, as well as his anger at her abandonment, stopped him. Let her explain why the two of them, mother and son, are sitting in some strange diner as though they are perfect strangers. Because that's what we are. Complete and absolute strangers.

"I suppose you are wondering why I let Liz and Jimmy take you…" she began, and he only raised his eyes to hers in response. "I wish I could tell you that I had noble reasons for doing so, but in reality, there was no nobility in what I did. When I slept with Jimmy, I was completing law school at the University of Chicago and already stated for a prestigious job on the West coast should all go well. Getting pregnant wasn't an option, nor was raising the child that resulted from it. So when Jimmy, who knew of my situation, suggested that he and his wife raise the child, I eagerly accepted, not realizing just what I was giving up in the process."

Her voice shook slightly, but she continued. "As time passed, I began to think of you more and more, wondering what you looked like, what type of person you'd become in my absence. For a long time, I suppressed my concern and interest, but eventually I could do so no longer. So I contacted Jimmy, who put me through Liz. I found out that you were living in Stars Hollow with your uncle, a Luke Danes."

Jess watched and listened to Karen in fascination, unable to tear himself away. He'd always assumed his own life had been in his own hands, and here was this woman, his mother, letting him know how much it wasn't.

"For the first time in my career, I took time off and flew to Connecticut. I was determined to make contact with you, though the very idea frightened me more than anything else in the world. However, a roadblock presented itself in the form of your uncle. He had only recently found out the truth and was absolutely livid at my gall to only now return. He thought that it might set you back in the progress he'd felt you'd made. However, I finally convinced him of my urgency. But when the big moment came, I lost my nerve and fled Stars Hollow in shame."

"You came to see me in Stars Hollow?" Jess muttered in a low voice, unable to believe his ears. Not only had his father finally returned, but so had his mother. The one he hadn't even known he had.

She nodded. "I'm rather ashamed to admit it, but I visited several times, each time unable to muster up the courage to actually make contact and build a relationship."

Jess thought for a minute, his brow furrowed until he replied, "So, what's changed then?"

Shaking her head slightly, Karen replied, "I'm not sure I understand your meaning."

"I think you do. What has changed that now you're contacting me and actually going through with it. Why are you here?" he asked suspiciously.

Her eyes misted slightly, and he shifted uncomfortably. Crying people had always made him uneasy, and this was exacerbated by the fact that he hardly knew this woman.

"I'm here because… I have breast cancer. Terminal breast cancer," she said, and a few tears fell down her cheeks. "And I just didn't want to meet my maker without knowing the one person I helped make, however small my contribution was."

"You're dying?" Jess whispered, feeling his heart constrict.

"Yes… which is why-"

"God, how selfish are you?" he spat, interrupting her and surprising surrounding diner patrons. "Why did you even bother contacting me? Just to clear your conscience? Well, that's just too damn bad. I'm out." He stood up quickly and moved out of the diner, casting angry glares at any onlookers.

The sun shined brightly as Jess exited the diner, and he cursed its happy nature. He heard Karen's shouts for him as he walked away, but he didn't care. He wasn't going to be her redemption, even if she was his mother.

----

Pulling into Anna's driveway, Luke felt slightly uneasy at the upcoming interaction. He'd called Anna from the road to let her know that he was coming, and he'd been able to hear the curiosity in her voice as she consented. Clearly, she didn't realize just what type of visit this was going to be.

The front door of the house opened up, and a small teenager darted out toward the truck. He couldn't hold back his smile as April approached him grinning. He'd never thought he was cut out to be a dad, and sometimes he still wasn't sure, but moments like this assured him that it was most certainly worth it. April was just something else.

"Hi," he said while climbing out of his truck.

"Hi," she responded brightly with a hug, which caught him off-guard but he quickly hugged her back. "How was your trip? Did you catch any fish? Which species?"

Anna walked up with a fond smile on her face as she watched April. "I think she likes you," she whispered teasingly, and Luke resisted the urge to respond with anger. He hadn't realized just exactly how angry he was with Anna, but seeing her, especially acting as though nothing had changed or happened, cemented his furious feelings. His and Lorelai's problems were by no means her fault, but her contribution certainly hadn't helped.

"We need to talk," he said seriously, and he watched as Anna's eyes darkened and she raised her eyebrows.

"All right…" she responded, following April into the house with Luke trailing behind.


	19. Chapter 19: Making Up and Making Out

Okay, so this chapter is picking up where Chapter 17 left off. For now, only an epilogue remains so I want to thank those of you who read and left me comments; you really gave me strength as a writer.

Chapter 19 – Making Up and Making Out

Rory stared at Luke in surprise. In her misery regarding her and Jess's latest fight, she'd somehow forgotten that today was the big day. Luke had returned to Stars Hollow.

Most of the diner patrons had paused over their food, staring at Luke avidly, followed by glancing between him and Rory as if waiting for some sort of reaction.

Though nobody knew for sure why Luke had gone fishing, it had only taken a few days before the innumerable amount of rumors regarding his absence had started flying. And most of them had to do with a believed falling out between Luke and Lorelai. Although Rory had noticed that Miss Patty seemed unconcerned and had assured several people that there was nothing wrong, which was unusual for the town gossip.

The thought of her mother's anxious behavior all week due to Luke almost made Rory smile, but then she remembered that he was not necessarily returning with good news. His phone call suggested that he was, but he still might have changed his mind in the time since then.

She continued to stare at him, wondering if he was returning to their lives as her future stepfather or yet another man in her mother's long line of boyfriend that didn't work out. It almost seemed ironic to her that for once, it wasn't her mother who would be potentially calling off the relationship.

Luke resembled a deer caught in headlights when his eyes focused on Rory. She wasn't sure if it was because she slightly resembled her mother or he just hadn't expected to see either of them so soon. At any rate, he looked incredibly uncomfortable at the sight of her. She watched as he shifted awkwardly on his feet and swung his bag from one shoulder to another.

After a minute of two had passed in uncomfortable silence, he finally stiffly said, "Rory. How are you?"

"Hi Luke. I'm good. How are you?" she responded, managing to hide her disappointment. She wanted some sort of sign that he was coming back to her mother, and that together they were going to build a family. But Luke's face was as unreadable as ever.

"I'm good," he said quietly, and his voice gave nothing away. She wasn't sure why this situation was so awkward, but she glanced away anyway.

"Luke! It's good to have you back," Lane said, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had overcome the diner.

"Hi Lane," Luke said, moving towards the stairs. "And what's everyone staring at? Can't a man go fishing?" he added gruffly.

Everyone snapped back to their food and conversations, acting as though they'd never been staring in the first place, and the diner began to clamor once more with voices and the sounds of silverware and plates clinking.

Rory felt another surge of disappointment as Luke began to disappear, but just as he turned around the corner, he shot her a reassuring smile. It wasn't much, but it let Rory know everything that she needed to know. He was going to forgive her mother. They were going to get married, and someday, they would be a family.

She heard his feet carry him upstairs, and she wondered if today would be one of those days a person remembered for as long as they lived.

And upon hearing that bell ring once more and seeing Jess's startled expression that mirrored Luke's earlier one, she knew that it was.

The moment Jess's eyes rested on Rory, she found herself locked in one of the most intense stares Rory had ever been part of. She wanted to run toward him, to touch him to make sure he was actually real but the tension in the air and his troubled appearance stopped her. They had only been apart for a few days, and somehow he already felt different to her. _What happened?_ she wondered as he stood incredibly still in the doorway, clearly unsure of how to react in this situation.

Everyone in the diner was watching once more, and Rory resisted the urge to yell at the whole group. _Do they nothing better to do? Of course they don't. They live in Stars Hollow_. She resisted the urge to scream at them as they watched her and Jess like the pair were a mildly interesting television program. _You can't watch this! This is a personal moment,_ her mind cried.

After a long silence, Jess broke his stoic pose and gestured toward outside, and Rory quickly nodding, willing to do anything to get out of the suddenly stifling diner.

As she exited, she noticed Brian and Zach's heads so close together it was almost humorous, and she wondered if she were about to be the subject of yet another song. _Just let this song have a happy ending_, she prayed.

Jess's long legs quickly strode away from her once the diner door had slammed behind her. Despite his silence, she knew she was supposed to follow. As he continued to travel at a pace she'd never knew he was capable of, she was reminded of another one of their moments.

"_I get to leave first," Rory cried and began quickly walking away from Jess. _

_Jess waited her retreating back for only a split-second, and then said, "Rory, wait! Stop!" and took off after her._

They had continued in that fashion, darting around the town like, as Jess had said, "idiots." She now resisted the urge to ask him where he'd learned to walk like that, and the thought made her burst out laughing.

They were half way to the bridge, and Jess wheeled around in surprise. _Apparently, random bursts of laughter are not part of the agenda_, Rory thought rather meekly as he surveyed her in surprise and almost dismay.

"What's so funny?" he muttered, his brown eyes piercing her blue. His stance was still stiff, and she desperately wanted to hug him, to wipe away the tautness in his face.

The small smile from the memory faded from her face at she watched him; something about him seemed so different. She wondered if this was a relic from his visit with Karen and hoped it wasn't a permanent change.

"Look, I don't want to waste any more time, Rory," he said wearily, running a hand through his dark hair. "I love you. It's that simple. I'm sick of saying the wrong things or things that should have never been said. I just want to be with you. So I need to know, do you love me or not?"

His directness surprised her, and she fumbled for a reply. "Um… wow. Just like this?"

"What's the point of beating around the bush? We never know how much time we have left, so what's the point of wasting it? Don't think about the details right now, Rory, just answer the question. Do you love me? Are you willing to give us another shot?" His words were quiet yet passionate, and Rory wondered where they were coming from. Jess had never displayed any concern for time before.

Holding her breath, Rory forced herself to count to 10. And in those 10 seconds, she thought of every reason for her and Jess to be together, and every reason for them not to be together. Thousands of feelings flooded her mind, and she stared at his eyes.

Finally, she only said three words, and they weren't the ones that most people would have expected, but they meant the world to Jess. "I'm in, Dodger." She closed the gap between them and pressed her lips to his. As they kissed, Rory finally felt the rigidness melt away from his body as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back.

Jess pulled her closer. He was finally home.

---

Pressing the phone close to his ear, Luke prayed that Lorelai picked up. He wasn't sure if he could make this call again; collecting the courage to do it in the first place had taken him ten minutes alone. He wasn't even sure why he was so nervous, only that he was.

"Hello?" her voice answered, and just the sound of it made Luke want to hold her close. When was the last time he'd touched her… he couldn't even remember. That knowledge alone proved to him how very far they'd gone from their initial path, and he vowed to fix the mess the two of them had found themselves.

"Hi Lorelai," he replied softly, hearing her gasp as she recognized his voice.

"Luke! Are you home? Are you in Stars Hollow?" she asked excitedly, though he could detect the nervousness too.

"Yes. Can I see you?"

"Of course… I'm at the Inn," she responded.

"See you soon."

Hanging up the phone, Luke smiled. It was time to go and get the girl.

---

Placing the phone on its receiver, Lorelai thought she might vomit from nervousness. Nothing in his voice had told her what to expect, and she thought she might be sick from the waiting. _Remember the phone call,_ she told herself optimistically, clinging to his words.

"_I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you."_

"_In a good way?" _

"_In a good way."_

She ran the soft words through her mind repeatedly, knowing they were her own haven until she found out the truth. _But what if he'd changed his mind? What if he's coming here to tell me he can't do this… Suck it up Gilmore. Whatever he decides, you stand by him. You owe him that much, at least._

Watching the Inn door vigilantly, Lorelai didn't hear Michel come up behind her or his words until he shouted her name. "Lorelai!"

Jumping at his unexpected presence, she turned around to face him in surprise. "Oh, I'm sorry, Michel. What's up?"

"You know why I enjoy this job so much? Everyone is wonderfully attentive. It really makes you feel special and warm."

"Look, this isn't a good time for your sarcasm. What's up?"

"Well, if you had been listening, you'd know that I'm back from my break, so you are welcome to take yours," he answered snottily.

As the door to the Inn opened, Lorelai crossed her fingers and said vaguely said, "Sure, I'll take that break now…"

Luke rounded the corner, looking like a dream come true, and she resisted the urge to throw herself over him, screaming, "take me back, please!"

Instead, she shot him a warm smile and moved toward the stairs, indicating to him to follow so that they would have private place to talk about his decision. Whatever that was. For better or worst.

However, she paused on the first step when he didn't follow. Her stomach fell as she realized what this meant. Was he going to do this in front her employees and guests? Would they all know what a horrible person she was? She couldn't imagine why he would do this to her, though she knew that this was nothing compared to what she'd done to him.

"Luke?" she asked hesitantly, her eyes begging him to follow her. However, he ignored her and instead, moved toward her quickly. He seized her left hand, removing the ring she'd been unable to bring herself to remove.

Tears sprang to her eyes as Lorelai realized this was the end of her and Luke. Despite everything, he was going to end everything they'd shared because of her stupidity. In front of all of her employees and guests. _Don't cry. Don't cry!_ her mind shouted as she stared at him miserably, waiting for the inevitable.

But instead of speaking the words that she was dreading, Luke did the very last thing she would have ever expected. Dropping to one knee, Luke stared straight into her eyes with more passion than she could have ever imagined.

"Lorelai Victoria Gilmore, will you elope with me on June 3rd and spend the rest of the summer planning a wonderful celebration of our love with our friends, family, and town?"

Releasing the tears, Lorelai couldn't fight the broad grin that overtook her face. It was the perfect proposal, better than any of her dreams.

"Yes, yes!" she cried happily, throwing her arms around him as he stood to embrace her tightly. His familiar lips quickly sized her own, completing the best moment of her life. Forgetting everyone around them, she kissed him back with everything she had.

"I love you," he whispered in her ear when they broke apart.

"I love _you_," she replied, hugging him tightly.

Grasping his hand, she turned to face a surprised Michel. "I'm taking the rest of the day off. Could you please mark off Room 4? It's going to be occupied for some time." Smiling at Michel's expression of disgust and the cheers of the other people watching, she pulled Luke up the stairs, letting the warmth of his presence and proposal take over. There was no doubt, Lorelai Gilmore had never been this happy in her life.

Glancing over at him and seeing the same feelings mirrored in his own eyes, Lorelai smiled. She'd finally found the one worth fighting for, and the one that was willing to fight for her. She'd found love.

As Luke closed the door and turned to face her, Lorelai could only note how truly wonderful it was.


	20. Chapter 20: The Flame

I highly doubt I have any readers left at this point, and I sincerely apologize for how long it took me to get this right. In a strange way, I didn't want the story to end but I think I've finally written something that makes me feel like it is time to.

At any rate, I apologize again for the long wait. Enjoy!

Rory wondered if she'd ever been this nervous in her entire life as she eagerly searched the crowd. Racking her brain, she was almost 100 positive that she had definitely never been quite this nervous. She was finally graduating from Yale University; something that, for a while now, Rory mused, felt like it was never going to happen. But today had arrived and she was more than ready.

A familiar blonde figure caught her eye, and her stomach tightened in response. Much to her dismay, Yale selected Mitchem Huntzberger to give the graduation speech. However, Rory had decided she wasn't going to let him ruin her special day.

Once upon a time, she'd let him destroy her, in more ways than one, but the Rory Gilmore standing here today wasn't going to brought down so easily. But this didn't stop her from looking for Logan, if only for a moment. She finally spotted him a few people behind his father, the fake, plastic smile she knew so well plastered on his face.

She shifted her eyes away from the person who meant nothing to her now, continuing her search for her family until her blue eyes landed on a larger banner that read, "We love you, Rory!"

Her mother and a clearly uncomfortable Luke held up the banner, causing Rory to beam with pleasure. A quick glance beyond the sign confirmed what she had hoped: everyone she loved and needed sat in the stands, ready to watch her close one chapter of her life and move on to another.

She tossed a wave and the mixed reactions of her beloved family and friends caused her to laugh out loud. Her mother, Sookie, Jackson, their children, and Lane and Zach all waved back merrily, shouting words of joy and encouragement, while Jess, Luke, and April merely smirked at the group. Her grandparents watched the group with displeasure plainly written on their faces, though Rory could see their pride shining through nevertheless.

_It's funny_, Rory thought. _When I pictured this moment, I never imagined it would be as wonderful as this…_

Reflecting silently, the last two years of her life had been nothing short of amazing. After she and Jess had reconciled for the final time, they'd learned of Luke and Lorelai's own reconciliation and upcoming elopement. The Danes-Gilmore clan was finally as it should be, and it was hard to tell whom of the four was more thrilled about it.

The perfect summer had ended with Luke and Lorelai's town wedding, an enormous affair that no one in Stars Hollow was soon to forget, and the memory of Lorelai and Jess dancing together at the reception still made Rory smile. Her mother and boyfriend had developed a surprisingly strong bond, despite its basis in insults, and this pleased Rory to no end.

Once the school year began, Rory and Jess's relationship had become strained, as he was still living in Philadelphia and she was busy with school. However, later that year, a prestigious publishing company paid for the rights to his second novel, Equivocation, so the pair had eventually moved into an apartment close to the Yale campus. Jess was gone a lot, promoting his book, but Rory hadn't minded; he always came home to her.

Lorelai and Luke had quickly created a life together, and sometimes Rory found it hard to believe that they had ever been anything but together. About a year after being married, they'd announced their impending pregnancy, and nine months later (only three months ago, Rory reflected), the Gilmore-Danes clan had been blessed with a son. A red-faced, sweaty, but enormously happy Lorelai and a nauseous but pleased looking Luke had named him William, Will for short, after Luke's father.

After Luke's talk with Anna, April had fit smoothly into Luke and Lorelai's lives. She still visited when she could, and Anna slowly but surely developed a friendship with Lorelai. It was still hard sometimes, as Rory had heard Lorelai complain a thousand times, but once the two had gotten married, it'd became a lot easier to integrate the different families.

Not that the last two years had been entirely wonderful, Rory thought sadly. There was one person she wouldn't have minded attending the graduation, but Karen had lost her battle with breast cancer five months earlier. The death had hit Jess hard, much harder than even Rory had anticipated. After Karen and Jess's first meeting, Karen persistently tried to make contact, and he'd avoided her for the better part of a year until he'd finally let her in. Some days, when Jess was feeling angry or bitter, he raged about how worthless it was to have done so, but for the most part, on good or regular days, Jess knew it was worth it to at least know her for a little while.

She vaguely wondered if her father was milling around with the thousands of other people at the graduation ceremony; they'd had very limited contact since that summer. It broke her heart to know that their relationship had ended this way, but having Luke around took away a lot of the pain. In some ways, Rory knew that Luke had always really been her father, in all the ways that mattered, anyway. She supposed Christopher most likely wasn't in attendance but then the faint sound of screaming reached her ears. She couldn't help the smile that formed on her face as she imagined her father struggling with GiGi. Maybe he was there after all.

A hush fell over the crowd as the opening music began, and Rory grinned as nausea and nervousness overtook her. Only two more hours, and she was a college graduate.

"This is quite some party," Paris remarked over the enormous noise filling Luke and Lorelai's house in celebration of Rory's graduation.

"Sure is," Rory responded. "Can you believe our time at Yale is over?"

"Yes, I can," Paris said simply and Rory laughed in return. Paris's distant attitude had long since stopped bothering her; in fact, she wasn't even sure what she would do if Paris were emotional.

"Well, I can't," Rory replied good-naturedly. "Where's Doyle?"

"Probably lecturing about the candidates for the Democratic ticket to one of your town's half-wits. He's become rather political these days."

The pair continued to converse until Rory fell silent, basking in the closeness of her family and friends. After a few moments, Paris excused herself as Lane approached.

"Well, look who it is. Rory, the college graduate." Lane teased. "And I can't believe that practically everyone in Stars Hollow can fit in this house."

"Yeah, I think it's a sign that Stars Hollow needs to repopulate," Rory joked while smiling at the party surrounding them.

Jess approached them, that wonderful smirk she loved so much gracing his face. "Do my ears deceive me? Did you dare suggest that this crazy bunch of loons procreate? Are you out of your mind?" he demanded.

"Of course I am," she shot back. "I agreed to marry you, didn't I?" The minute the words fell out of her mouth she stiffened, as Lane stared at the pair in shock.

"You're getting married?" she shrieked, bouncing on her heels with excitement.

"Shh," Rory and Jess intoned, dragging her away from some surprised looking guests.

"Just engaged," Jess whispered. "But we want a little time to get used to the idea before we tell anyone else. Besides, we already agreed to very long engagement."

Lane glanced at Rory, who nodded emphatically. "It's what we both want. But you need to keep it a secret, at least for now. Promise to keep it a secret?"

Groaning, Lane rolled her eyes. "Fine. But I get dibs, besides your mom and Luke, of course, on telling people. Deal?"

"Deal," Rory and Jess said together once more, causing Lane to roll her eyes again.

"Are you sure you're not married already? Speaking of married, I should probably go find my husband; I saw him with Miss Patty last, and I want to make sure I get to take home at least a piece of him."

As Lane strolled off, Jess shot accusing eyes at Rory. "'But Jess,'" he mocked. "'I don't want to tell anyone. Will you please keep it a secret? Please?'"

"Shut up," she muttered, leaning into him and breathing deep. He still smelt as good as ever, though she'd never bothered to inquire as to what he actually wore. It was nice just knowing that no one could ever smell quite that way, nor could any smell make her feel as light-headed as she did now.

He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her close. She sighed contently and moved forward for kiss. He returned it, but pulled away slightly and murmured, "They're going to cut the cake soon."

She kissed him again, memorizing the way his lips felt against hers—as if she could forget—and let out a large sigh. "The cake I don't know about?" she asked, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and resting her head against him.

"Yeah," he replied. "That one."

The two stood in silence, watching their family, friends, and neighbors talk and dance, until a voice shouted a la foghorn, "Rory Gilmore? Do we have a Rory Gilmore in the house?"

Jess let his arms fall away and pushed her into the center of the room. "She's right here," he shouted, and Rory only had time to shoot a small, menacing glare at him as the crowd swept her away.

"I hate you," she cried, and he only smiled in return.

"I love you too, Rory. Have a good time." She glanced over her shoulder once more, watching as Jess moved toward Luke. She silently vowed to wipe that smirk off his face later tonight. _You've got it comin', Mariano. _

After an incredibly embarrassing birthday cake and song (and many vows that she would never, ever forgive her mother), Rory finally made her way over to Jess. "Thanks for throwing me to the wolves," she murmured as she wrapped an arm around him.

"Oh my, look what we have here. Haven't I seen you pee somewhere?" He answered, watching as her face turned bright red.

"It's not funny. I was really young. And I really, really had to go," she muttered, watching as the party people munched on their cake and chatted. She couldn't believe her mother would use that picture – was it her fault that the plumbing had frozen that winter? She'd only been six; her bladder could hardly be expected to hold it all night long.

Jess only shrugged and kissed her forehead. "Oh c'mon, no one cares. These people have known you all your life. I'm sure one picture of you peeing outside won't ruin your credib-" he broke off, laughing too hard to continue.

Smacking his arm, she arranged a pout on her face and crossed her arms childishly. "Thanks for all your support. What a wonderful boyfriend you are."

"Not boyfriend." He pulled her close and pressed his lips to hers. "Not boyfriend," he repeated. "Fiancé."

Warmth spread through Rory's body at his words and sexy whisper. He was right; he was no longer just a boyfriend. They were _engaged_. She wasn't even sure what had prompted him to ask or what had caused her to say yes, but the more she thought about it, the more the entire idea made sense.

"Maybe we should tell people."

She glanced at him in surprise. "Why are you in such a rush to let everyone know?"

He shrugged, turning away from her. "Is there something wrong with wanting everyone to know you're mine?" he asked, his voice low.

Something about his vulnerability caused her heart to shiver, but she couldn't resist a small dig. "You don't own me now, you know. I refuse to play house-wife."

Her joke had its intended effect; he chuckled slightly. "Damn. And here I thought I was engaged to Donna Reed."

The reference—unbeknowst to Jess—caused a red flush to spread across her cheeks as Dean's face flashed in her mind. God, how young she had been. How desperate to please her first boyfriend. And now, six years later, she was engaged to his 'arch-nemesis' and hardly in contact with Dean. She knew that he lived in Seattle, working at an organic food store that he'd started with a few friends. He'd changed—so much that she hardly recognized him physically or personality-wise anymore—but not into someone unpleasant. He had become someone different the way that she had – necessary, mature change.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Jess asked wryly, watching her emotions shift on her face. Something about her face and its movements was like a book – each crease and bend representing a word or feeling in a language only he could speak and decipher.

Grinning, Rory replied, "Whatever is smaller than a penny."

His eyes widen in remembrance of their moment in the diner; the tumultuous beginning with so much uncertainty had evolved into something both of them relied on everyday. _How far we've come since then, _Jess reflected. Not that he was going to start spouting clichés any time soon. He could live without her. Didn't want to, would be miserable, but he could. And she wasn't necessarily his everything; he had other parts of his life that she wasn't part of. She was just the part of his life he liked best.

"Mhmm," he murmured, entwining their fingers. "Any foreign currency then." Watching the way her thin fingers wrapped around his own, he realized something. It wasn't a perfect, storybook fit – their thumbs wanted to occupy the same space, sometimes her scratchy nails left battle wounds, and his calluses frequently caused her to bust out lotion. But they made it work, thumbs, nails, calluses and all. Just as he'd known they would.

He glanced back at her, only to realize she was calling everyone's attention with the foghorn.

"Hi everyone!" she shouted, and Jess winced at the loudness of her voice. However, the screams and yells in response were even louder.

She looked back at him, and he tilted his head questioningly. 'Up to you,' he mouthed and she turned back to the crowd.

"Well, I have a very exciting announcement to make. As of a week ago, Jess Mariano and I are engaged!"

The crowd surrounding her erupting into roars and cheers; her mother immediately tackled her, followed by an ecstatic Luke, and an exasperated Lane.

"How come you didn't tell me?" Lorelai shrieked excitedly while hugging her. "I gave you the gift of life! And this is that thanks I get in return?"

Luke shook Jess's hand, but Jess surprisingly pulled Luke into a manly hug. "I'm so proud of you," Rory heard Luke whisper, causing small tears to form in her eyes. Those two… seeing them together always just did something to her.

Lane smacked both Rory and Jess on the head, crying, "You promised!" But it was happiness shining in her eyes, not anger.

After that, so many people came up to congratulate the couple that some became a blur in her haze of happiness. April embraced both Jess and Rory and said, "Now we're really family!" Miss Patty emphatically spouted Jess's virtues, labeling him a 'keeper'. "Way to go, dude," Zach said, shaking Jess's hand. Kirk immediately asked if they had purchased an engagement ring, because if not, he had a lovely collection. Oh, and if they needed help with the wedding, well he was actually considering a career as a wedding planner, so… both of them exchanged nervous glances at that point, but luckily the tide of people swept Kirk away.

As the chatter finally began to die down, Lorelai picked up the foghorn. "I'd like to make a musical dedication. Maybe some of you don't know this song, but I think the people who matter will." she said cryptically, causing Rory to stare at her curiously. "Hit it, Kirk!"

As the strains of Cheap Trick's "The Flame" filled the air, Rory felt more tears reach her eyes. "You remembered!" She embraced her mother warmly. "I can't believe you remembered!"

"How could I forget? You said you would punch me if I forget," Lorelai joked. "And child of mine, boy, do you pack a punch."

Luke groaned loudly, but Jess's smile was wider than ever. "Oh dear uncle. I do believe that is 20 dollars that you owe me." Luke groaned again, reaching into his pocket for his wallet with a grimace. "I cannot believe this…"

"What?" Rory asked curiously.

"Did you… did you _bet_ on this?" Lorelai asked delightedly. "Were there any conditions?" At this, she glanced at Jess, who only laughed.

Handing the twenty dollars to Jess, Luke replied, "I thought for sure there was no way you would remember. And no, there weren't."

"Oh, so I suppose the fact that Jess happened to mention that night, only to cue my memory of this promise, isn't important?"

Both Rory and Lorelai burst out laughing at Luke's shocked face.

"That's… that's cheating!" he sputtered but Jess only coolly replied, "Hey. It's like you said, there were no conditions."

"Oh c'mon," Luke grumbled. "Give me my twenty dollars back." He laid his hand out, but Jess shook his head.

"I'm afraid all sales are final."

"Hey," Lorelai cried into the foghorn. "Can you start the song over? I want to enjoy it this time." Kirk, who was still standing by the stereo, nodded and 'The Flame' began once more.

There was no denying the cheesiness and 80-ness of the music and lyrics, but somehow, the song was just what she wanted to hear. More and more people began to sing along as well—at least the people who knew the song—and she smiled. How well she knew this group of zany, crazy people.

Her mother knew each and every word, proudly 'singing' as loud as she could in the foghorn. Both Jess and Luke sang very, very quietly with minimal lip movement and the looks on their faces indicated that any teasing was going to put a stop to their efforts immediately. Grudging Lane sang along ("It's really not really rock and roll" she grumbled), while Zach ignored her and belted it out. Sookie and Jackson were slow dancing, which while appropriate for the song's slow sound, seemed a bit weird in the huge mass of people. April was, surprisingly, singing along as well, causing Rory to note that 80's music must be cool again.

"_Another night slowly closes in and I feel so lonely,_

_Touching heat freezing on my skin, I pretend that you still hold me._

_I'm going crazy, I'm losing sleep, _

_I'm in way too far; I'm in way too deep over you,_

_I can't believe you're gone." _

"Oh my favorite line is next!" Rory cried, and everyone who meant something to her sang as loudly as they could, "_YOU WERE THE FIRST TO BE THE LAST_!"

The sound was deafening, but Rory only snuggled next to Jess and sang her heart out, knowing that a more perfect moment never existed.


End file.
